We met on one of the dating apps. His profile said he was looking for a woman he could take home to show his mother. My profile simply said, “Stay away if you’re not serious.”

We matched. He was the first person to say hello. I waved. He asked where I was, and we later realized we were not far from each other. He asked, “What do you mean by ‘serious’?”

I explained that I’d matched with many guys who were simply looking for a woman they could sleep with. I wasn’t into that. I was looking for stability, something built to last.

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I also asked about his profile. He said his mother had been his role model and he was looking for a woman molded in the image of his mom. Immediately, I told him I wasn’t molded that way, so I couldn’t be that woman.

“You don’t even know who my mom is, so how can you conclude that you’re not like her?”

He asked me to give him my number so we could take the conversation from there. I said no, but would rather get to know him better on the app before I committed my number. To me, I’d said no in my head. I wasn’t going to audition for a mama role before I was considered a worthy wife.

I even stopped visiting the app for over two weeks. I went back, and this guy had sent a message every day that I’d been away, asking me how I was and pleading with me not to abandon him. He said the fact that we matched wasn’t the universe’s mistake. There was a purpose, and we should look for that purpose.

I read the messages again and again but didn’t respond. I was eager to know what he would send the next day. Every morning, I would read something new from this guy and smile. He said he’d mentioned me to his mom, and his mom was praying so I would respond to his messages. For twenty-three days, there was not a single day he didn’t send a message.

My profile was meant to push men who were not serious away, but he kept coming. He was serious about the pursuit, so I gave him my number. I got a call from him the next day and the next and the next. He texted even when I didn’t respond. I agreed to meet him, and we met in my church. I invited him over to one of our church events, and guess who he came with? His mom.

He said, “Mom, this is the lady you were praying about. Your prayers were answered.”

I smiled shyly. His mom took my hand and said, “I’ve heard good things about you, and the fact that you brought us home to a church means a lot to the purpose of God in our lives. Marry my son. I raised him well.”

When I told my dad about him and how he came to our first date with his mom, my dad laughed and said, “Such a mommy’s boy, but don’t overlook the important details. He respects his mom. He’ll respect you.”

I agreed to date him and also took him home to meet my dad and mom. All this while, I didn’t know where he lived. We’d met in town and had met in my office and his office, but I didn’t know what his home looked like. When he asked me to visit him, he did it as if he was pleading for something he didn’t deserve.

He met me at his door. He put a little box in my hand that I thought was chocolate. I thanked him. I opened it, and it was a ring.

“Marry me,” he said.

I looked at the ring, looked at him, and asked, “Aren’t we running too fast? Just yesterday, we were strangers on an app. And today…”

He cut in, “When we crash, we crash. At least we will die together.”

They say a man in love is a dangerous animal. You tell him no, and he hears yes. You tell him, “Let’s give it some time,” and tomorrow he tells you we’ve given it enough time. I didn’t say yes or no to his proposal. I didn’t even put the ring on. It took me weeks to feel at ease with the speed. “If we crash, we crash,” I said to myself when I finally said yes.

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We dated for six months, no sex, no kiss, just hugs and some hand-holding. Eleven years and four kids later, it still feels like I won the lottery with him. I asked, “So what pushed you to that app? You mean you couldn’t find any woman around you to date?”

“What pushed you to that app?” He placed the same question before me. “You mean you couldn’t find any man around you to date?”

We still don’t have the answers to what pushed us, but we both have this clarity that the universe doesn’t make a mistake. It’s the reason we say everything happens for a reason. We found our reason. The why doesn’t matter anymore.

—Juliana     

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