He came back from abroad and proposed to me. If it wasn’t for the strong feelings I had for him, I would have turned a blind eye to his proposal. But this was a man I liked from way back in JHS. Almost every girl with good eyes had a crush on him. I was fortunate to have been one of the girls who had a tight bond with him in school, which made other girls envious of me. And I liked it. I liked the attention it gave me.

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But life happened. We completed Junior High School and we both went to different senior schools.

The last I heard of him was from our schoolmates who kept in touch with him. They told me he had moved abroad.

He returned to Ghana for a brief visit, and we reconnected and started talking. He didn’t hide from me the fact that he was dating a girl abroad. But he quickly added that he liked me so much and wanted to pursue what we had going. And what we had going was simply out of this world. He finished my sentences. He was always in my mind, just as I was in his. And for the fact that he hinted that he would be ending his relationship with Barbara, his girlfriend, I took his proposal into consideration and agreed to be his girlfriend. We started dating, and it was blissful.

Because of our situation, I knew of the girl, what she looked like, how she called him, and how much they were in communication. And if they were having problems, I knew of it too. If they resolved it, I heard about it. One day, I overheard them. I was in his house, and they were quarrelling over something. It didn’t concern me, so I would usually stay out of it.

During this period, I think the quarrel was very intense. That is how come it forced him to actually confess that he had gone to perform the knocking ceremony on the other girlfriend. He said that he didn’t mean to hide this big thing from me, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And the desperate times were doing everything under the sun to date me because we were good with each other.

For the pain and betrayal he caused me, I broke up with him. The next day, he was in front of my house. I didn’t mind him until he got tired and left the compound. The days after were accompanied by incessant calls and text messages, begging me and calling for another chance, and I forgave him.

According to him, he loves us both and doesn’t seem to want to let either of us go. What one of us lacks, the other has in abundance. He has even hinted that, “If I have the resources, I could marry the two of you.”

A year and some months later, we were still dating. We were still very much in love with each other, and I had come to know my place, but it really wasn’t cemented, and it tormented me. I didn’t know my left or my right. So, I decided to bring up the matter and not pretend as if we didn’t have a bigger issue to deal with.

After the long, hard conversation, it just turned out he didn’t even know what he wanted to do with me either. Or her. He wants to eat his cake and have it. And I have been stringing along so far to know better. Maybe he has even made his decision, but again, he will keep it under wraps while continuing to play the two of us.

We have done a year and some months. I don’t want to do two years, and three years, and four years later, he isn’t coming to marry me. Even now, my heart is shattering from breaking things off with him. The first time I tried, I failed woefully at it. I went crawling back as soon as he came apologising.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

And I don’t think I am handling the breakup well at all. I can’t really keep sane in my day-to-day activities. My brother, who knows about it, has spoken to me, and it should help me since he is speaking from a man’s point of view, but I am still not a little over it.

Maybe I should seek therapy and counselling because how did I take off my slippers to walk myself into this hell?

— Michelle

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