I haven’t spoken to my younger sister in three years. My dad called to ask what the problem was. My mom has tried to find out what the issue is, but I tell them we are fine; we just don’t talk.

We are both unable to tell anyone what the problem is because we know how deep it goes. I have tried to tell my parents what really happened, but on the other hand, I don’t want them to take sides. I don’t want them to take sides with me or with her. It’s fine. Life can go on without my sister.

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My brother believes we are fighting over a man. He says it as a joke without knowing he’s telling the truth. He tells me, “Who took whose boyfriend that the two of you have been fighting all this while?”

I haven’t answered his question, but let me answer it here.

My sister was in school in Accra, and because I was working here, she came to visit me very often. I was the one paying her fees too, and whenever she needed something my parents couldn’t give her, I was the one she came to. Some vacations, she would spend them with me. Sometimes, I had to sack her to go home and help our parents before she would go.

During those days, a guy came into my life. I went to the bank with my younger sister, and it was that very day I met Henry. He worked at the bank. He helped me out and later took my number. On our first outing, I went with my sister. It was an arrangement I made with him so he could meet my sister too.

From that date, it became a talking stage between me and Henry. I wasn’t getting the vibe. Today, he spoke like he was going to propose to me the next day, but the next day would come and he would go cold. It was fine. I didn’t expect him to go all out on me after a few weeks. It also afforded me the opportunity to study him.

Along the line, he proposed and I said yes. Once I said yes, all he did was talk about sex. One day, he would talk about all the styles in this world he couldn’t wait to give me. The next day, he would mention marriage and add, “When we get married, prepare for us to do it every day.”

This guy never talked about any practical topic without bringing in intimacy. It was a red flag for me, so I decided to take it slowly with him. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the way he only talked about intimacy.

“Yes, it will happen, but should it be everything this relationship is built on?”

He said he didn’t know he was talking about it that much, so going forward, he was going to watch his words. He changed, and I respected him for that. But when he stopped talking about it, he started demanding it.

I asked him to be patient. He asked for how long, and I said for as long as it took for me to feel confident enough to do it with him.

He called me selfish and said I wanted everything on my terms.

“What about me? Don’t I matter in this relationship too? It’s all about you and you and you.”

We had dated for less than four months ooo. I saw how the thing was going and advised myself. I didn’t want to cut the cord right away. I wanted the relationship to die a natural death. I had come to love him, and severing the relationship instantly might have hurt me. I wanted to take my time and heal out of the relationship.

While I was healing out of it, my sister was throwing herself at Henry. What hurt me the most was that Henry had asked her to talk to me to loosen up and give us a chance to thrive. My sister had accepted to do that, but she never mentioned Henry to me in a conversation. I also didn’t talk to her about my relationship, though we were very fine.

For some reason, she opened an account at the branch where Henry worked, though she had no money to put into the account. She was visiting the branch in the name of depositing money into her account just to see Henry.

Their first sexual encounter happened in Henry’s car, and that night, instead of discussing what happened, I was the one they discussed.

Henry said, “If I had seen you first that day, it would have been you. Your sister just wasted my time.”

When this happened, we hadn’t broken up completely ooo. It happened just around the time Henry was fighting with me because he said everything was about me.

Shock is an understatement. I was traumatised.

After reading the chats, I asked her, “You’ve been seeing Henry behind my back? Thank you. You’ve done very well.”

Those were the last words I said to my sister almost three years ago.

I called Henry.

“You’ve gotten what you wanted from me from my sister, so you’re okay now, right?”

He asked, “What are you talking about?”

I answered, “I’m not talking about you sleeping with my sister. I’m not angry. Just to let you know that I know.”

Then I hung up the call.

My sister left my place, and I was expecting her to call to offer an apology or even explain how things happened and apologise. She didn’t say a word. I felt betrayed and made to look like a fool. I said in my heart, “It’s over between me and her, just like it’s over between me and Henry.”

A few months later, my sister’s close friend met me in church and said she was going to tell me something because she knew I was the only one who could help my sister out of the situation she had found herself in.

“Your sister told me she was pregnant for her boyfriend, and the guy is ghosting her. She’s planning to get rid of it, but I think you should talk to her.”

I asked, “Do you know her boyfriend’s name?”

She responded, “Henry.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I took a deep breath and walked away.

She hasn’t given birth after three years, so that says a lot about what actually happened.

I forgave her a long time ago. I don’t wish bad things on her. When good things happen in her life, I will thank God on her behalf, but I won’t be part of those who celebrate with her.

To me, she’s just a stranger I once knew and haven’t spoken to again, and it will always remain that way.

—Fafa

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