After we welcomed our baby into the world, my boyfriend started cheating on me. It was multiple women at the same time, and honestly, it was an eyesore. I was even scared he was going to catch an infection and bring it to me, so I tried to fight him about it. I shouldn’t have, because he insulted me. He questioned my authority in his life. “Who are you to come and talk about my life? Am I your child? Do I look like a child to you?”

The boyfriend I knew was not like that. He was a kind, soft-spoken man at heart, but he started making money, and suddenly, we all started to look like ants in his eyes. He didn’t respect me anymore, and he didn’t even acknowledge me as the mother of his child.

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The fifth time I caught him cheating, I was ready to leave him, but his family and friends came begging me. “What will now happen to the child? The child needs her father,” they said. They said all the things people say in situations like that, and I agreed to stay with him. I was advised to grow tough skin to make being in the relationship bearable.

By the fifth year or so of being together, he stopped talking about marriage altogether. His own family got fed up and started advocating for me. Whenever they asked him when he was going to see my family, he would tell them that he was trying to build a life and make money before he thought about marriage.

His mother and sisters took it upon themselves to speak for me. His own father said he could even try to sponsor the wedding if it was too much for him, but he refused. He kept listing the things he wanted to achieve before he would go and see my family.

As time went on, they all got tired. I was living with his mother, and she too got tired of hosting me. “You are not even married to him. If anything happens to you here, I will be in trouble,” she told me.

He contributed some money, and we got a room for ourselves and furnished it to get us moving. I bought curtains, he bought the TV, he painted the room, and he gave me his old bed frame and mattress. Our relationship started suffering even more after I moved out of his mother’s place. He became more distant than ever, emotionally and physically. Once in a while, he would come and see us, but even then, he was always in a rush to leave. The longest he would stay and play with our child was about five minutes, and then he was out of the door.

By this time, we had dated for seven years, and he still hadn’t made any attempt to marry me.

I started seeking comfort in the company of my male friends. One of them invited me over to his house. Okay, I accept that this part was wrong. I honoured the invitation and spent the night there. Nothing happened between us. This was a friend who knew about my relationship status. His family knew I was his friend, and that was all there was between us.

One afternoon, Mike was visiting me, and my boyfriend also came around. He stayed longer than he normally did, and I assumed it was because he had seen Mike in the house. Once Mike left, he turned his frustration on me and registered his displeasure about seeing another man in my room. I told him that I visit Mike, so it wasn’t bad for Mike to visit me, including the part where I went visiting and stayed the night.

I never knew telling him the truth was going to turn out badly. He got angry and started shouting. He labelled me as one of those women who go out and sleep with everything. “While I am here fighting to give you a better life, you are out here sleeping with men.”

He broke up with me, even though I swore that nothing sexual had happened between the two of us. I just slept over at his place. He stayed in one corner of his bed, and I stayed in my corner. He didn’t listen to my plea. I had known and dated this man for seven years. What was I now going to do? That was one of the toughest moments of my life, but I took it in good faith. I managed to dissociate myself from him and build my life. I built myself into the woman I am today.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I am a nurse now and taking good care of my son. Now, he is here with a long list of apologies, insisting that we get back together. According to him, he should not have left me. He says that when he left, he made a grave mistake and should have trusted me.

I have read here many times that men do not forgive cheating, so I want to enquire if this case is different. Is he here to finish me completely, or do you think he is remorseful?

— Dinta

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