He told me the woman was his aunt and because she had money, everyone in his family was fighting for her attention. He was lucky to get that attention from her and had to do everything to keep it. I believed him because this woman we are talking about was older than him. Sometimes she looked like she could give birth to my boyfriend and also give birth to the one who gave birth to my boyfriend. That aside, she wore a beautiful wedding ring that looked like she loved the man who put it on her finger.

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He didn’t want this woman to see me. He said it would jeopardize his financial chances. “She shouldn’t know I share the money she gives me with a woman,” he told me. “She would be disappointed and stop giving me money.”

He was working and earning a pretty salary. It made me wonder about his strange obsession with his aunt’s money. I would want to spend the weekend with him, but he would tell me he would be going somewhere with his aunt. When I’m with him and his aunt calls, he would put a finger on his lips and shush me. Even if I breathed, he would give me a dead stare, telling me I was breathing too loudly.

I had a conversation with him. I told him I was going to leave the relationship because I didn’t understand why, at his age, he would hide his girlfriend from his aunt. “We should be thinking about marriage at this point,” I said, “not you hiding me from a woman who isn’t even your mom.”

He told me I was overreacting. That statement annoyed me so much I decided to walk away. I felt he was insensitive towards my emotions if he called it overreacting.

I stayed away from him and refused to pick up his calls. When he came to visit, I told him my uncle was on his way and I didn’t want my uncle to meet him with me, so he should go away. It was evening. He refused to go away. He knocked and knocked and knocked until I came out to talk to him.

He said he was sorry. I asked if he was sorry about having such an aunt, and he told me he was sorry about his utterances and that I shouldn’t walk away because of that. I told him my walking away was more about his aunt than his utterances. He promised he was going to do something about it, probably introduce me to her and see how things would go.

I accepted to go back to the relationship because he was going to introduce me to his aunt, the mighty woman who called the shots in his life. Weeks later, I was with him when a car honked. He jolted and screamed, “My aunt is here, please hide. I beg you in the name of God. Don’t let us argue. Just hide. I would explain.”

He pushed me to the bathroom and asked me to hide behind the door and not make a sound. I felt so small and cheap. I told myself that was the last night in that relationship. He went out to receive her. He was out for several minutes. I thought the woman had found out about me and she was questioning him. Later he came inside, called me, and said the woman was gone.

When I came out, he was holding a bundle of money. He said, “This is why you had to hide. I told her I was going to do my master’s and she agreed to pay. She brought the money.”

Again, he apologized for hiding me and said that was going to be the last time. I stayed. Only this time, I told myself I was going to learn his password and enter his phone.

I did and saw everything. He even had a recorded video of them doing a video call, and the woman was twerking for him. I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t traumatized. I would have been a fool if I didn’t expect worse. When I showed him the evidence, he went mute.

“Kofi, this woman is married. You look like one of her children. Why would you sleep with someone like that because of money?”

We had dated for two years. I knew him through and through, but I never knew him to be sober or not fight when he ought to. I expected a huge confrontation between us, but he went on his knees, held my legs, and begged me not to walk away. I pulled away. “I’m walking away. Keep her. She’s your world.”

He confessed he was with her because of the money and also because of what she had done for him and his family. His father fell seriously sick, and this woman brought his father to a private hospital in Accra and paid for everything until his dad was discharged. The woman told him she was doing all that because she was in love with him. That was when their relationship started.

We had been in a relationship for over two years. He had mentioned marriage along the way, and it had been our dream to get married next year. He had met my parents to tell them about those marriage plans, so my family was invested in our relationship.

I asked him to choose between me and the woman, and right there he said he chose me, but I should give him just one month to break up properly with the woman. I agreed. I told him I was staying away from him for that one month—no calls, no visits, nothing—until he had broken up with her completely.

We’ve done two weeks already, but honestly, it’s not easy for me staying away for two more weeks. I even doubt he will successfully break up with her, so I want to make it easy for him.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I’ve done my own investigation. I know the woman’s husband, a prominent man. I know the church they attend. I’ve been to the church twice. That’s how I got to know the husband and their two children. I want to release the screenshots I took from his phone and send them to the man anonymously. I believe that’s the shortcut way to get my boyfriend back.

My only fear is that this man is influential. What if he ends up hurting my boyfriend? What if everything turns disastrous? That’s my fear now. I can also wait for the two weeks and still get a man who’s still looking back at the woman because of money. What do you suggest I do?

—Sardia

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