After I had my firstborn, I noticed a shift in my husband’s attitude. He was not as present and as attentive as he used to be. I knew him so well that I could tell something or someone else had gotten his attention. It disturbed me a great deal. What could be more important to him than me, his beloved wife, and his newborn child?

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When I went digging, I found something that shocked me to my very core. My husband was having an affair with my elder brother’s wife’s sister. Yes, that’s just a long way of saying she is my sister-in-law. The two of them work in the same company. That’s how they got close. There was no proof that something physical had happened to them yet. It appeared they were still in the talking stage.

The moment I discovered what was going on, I reported Richard to his mother. She is a good woman, and we’ve always had such a great relationship. She did not dismiss me or condone her son’s behaviour. She called him and sternly warned him to stay away from Karen. That’s her name.

My mother-in-law told my husband she had heard a lot about Karen’s low morals. “She will bring you trouble.”

For a while, his mother’s advice worked. He stayed away from her. I monitored his phone closely and observed that they were no longer talking. I felt at peace knowing that she was no longer a problem.

Now my peace has been threatened again. I am currently pregnant with our second child, so she is back on the scene. She is single and lives alone. How am I supposed to feel knowing Richard visits her and they talk on the phone frequently? They even have pet names for each other.

When I confronted him, he denied everything I saw. Later, I saw that he changed her name in his phone to a male name and locked their WhatsApp chats with a secret code. As determined as I was, I found a way to get into their messages. I have read the romantic things they say to each other. “I miss you.” “What are you doing?” “I wish you were here,” among other things. 

Despite what he is doing, I feel confused about how to react. This is because beneath everything, he is still a good husband. He takes very good care of me. He supports my dreams. Everything I do, he is my biggest cheerleader. I felt like I won a jackpot when I married him. He has even built a house in my name. I am running a thriving business that he established for me. Currently, he is planning to buy me a car. 

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Material provision aside, he is kind. He is not the type who raises his voice at me. Not when he is angry, and certainly not when we are arguing. Whatever happens between us, he does not hold grudges. Once we talk about the problem, we move on.

How do I reconcile this amazing man with the man who is having an affair with my sister-in-law? His relationship with her is breaking me mentally. I don’t even know what her plan for her life is. She is over 30. Instead of finding her own man, she is entertaining and encouraging the attention of a married man.

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Based on her conversations with my husband, she seems desperate to settle down by any means necessary. So what is she doing with my husband? Sometimes, she’s even the one who initiates their calls and messages. I’ve seen everything. 

My concern is that the moment I have the baby and can’t be sexually active, she will fully embrace him with her legs wide open. These two people have made me tired and emotionally drained. I am not sure what to do. I am trying my best not to make any decision out of anger, but it’s hard.

—Molly

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