Becky and I met when neither of us had much. She had a job, I had mine, and we spoke often about the life we wanted to build. Somewhere around our second year, her lifestyle began to change. There were new dresses, handbags, wigs, and shoes almost every week.
I asked questions. I asked what had changed in her life. I asked if she had won a lottery and was hiding the winnings from me. Mostly, she laughed about it and then asked, “So a girl can’t decide to look nice in peace again?”
Three years after dating, we started talking about marriage. She wanted it to happen before her thirtieth birthday. I wanted it to happen too, but we both had to check our finances first. She told me she had enough saved for us to get married. I begged her to give me just a year to sort myself out. She agreed and also suggested that we should at least take steps towards marriage.
A few weeks after that discussion, I told my dad about marriage. He asked, “Is it the same girl?” I answered, “Yeah, the same girl.” He answered jovially, “If it were another girl, I would have helped Becky to curse you.” Then we burst out laughing.
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My dad led a family delegation to meet Becky’s family to initiate the beginning of our marriage plans. We performed the knocking rites that day and got the list. Her dad asked me, “So when should we look forward to your coming? We also want to prepare to meet you halfway.” I asked him to give us at least six months to make everything right.
Every month and every few weeks, when I found money, I would buy one thing on the list. Becky continued looking flashy. I told her to save some of her money to contribute to the process. She laughed about it and did nothing.
Six months later, I was unable to perform the wedding ceremony as I had promised her dad. I called him to tell him things hadn’t gone as expected, but he shouldn’t worry. We would get there soon. He responded, “Alright,” and then ended the call, obviously not happy.
Just when I was thinking and tinkering with things, one day Tilly called me. She said, “I have something serious to tell you.”
Tilly was Becky’s best friend. They attended events together and shared good times wherever they could find them. We weren’t close, so when she said she had something serious to tell me, I felt uneasy. I asked, “What’s wrong? Are you fighting with Becky?”
She responded, “Becky is cheating on you. She’s sleeping around with one big businessman. Call and ask her what she knows about George.”
I smiled to myself. I asked her what had caused the fight between them that made her want to go as far as destroying her relationship. She responded, “It’s the same man who caused the fight.” She ended the call and started sending me screenshots.
She sent screenshots of messages between someone saved as “Beck” and George. The conversations suggested a relationship that had gone very far. George was flirty, and Beck was talking about how far she could go when it came to intimacy.
I asked where she got the screenshots from, and she said it was a long story. When she finally told me the story, I understood why she was angry.
George was Tilly’s sugar daddy, and she introduced him to my Becky. Unbeknownst to her, Becky had gone behind her back to date George. Tilly said she suspected it when she was with George and my Becky kept calling, but George refused to pick up the call. When they eventually spent the night and George fell asleep, Tilly went through his phone and took those screenshots she sent me.
I was shocked to the bone. “Becky? My own Becky?”
I asked if the man was married, and Tilly responded, “Married with children. He’s over fifty years old.”
I asked if Becky knew about the screenshots, and she said she had confronted her. “She told me I had no right to ask her those questions. If I had any questions, I should ask George because he went for her.”
The exchanges got bitter between them, and Tilly told her she was going to tell me about George and everything she had been doing with him.
Before she ended the call, she said, “There’s something else you don’t know. Becky uses juju on big men. Once she sees that you have money, she uses spiritual preparations, including creams and beads, to get into your bed. Look at her lifestyle. Where do you think she gets the money?”
My heart was beating out of my chest. There’s a local proverb that says if the fish comes out of the water to tell you the crocodile is dead, you don’t have to doubt it. They both live under the water.
I called Becky right away and asked who George was. She asked, “How will I know the George you’re talking about? There are millions of Georges in this world.”
I answered, “The big businessman you’re sleeping with. Tilly told me everything.”
She was quiet on the phone, breathing hard like she had just come out of the water. I added, “I’m here struggling to get everything ready for our wedding, and you’re out there using juju to get big men. Where did you get the cream and beads from? Who taught you those devilish acts?”
She retorted, “Hey, hey, leave it right there. I’m quiet here doesn’t mean I’m ready to listen to nonsense. If you believe her, then you can go to hell with her and leave me alone. Me using juju? If I call you to court today, can you prove it? Nonsense.”
Then she dropped the call. I sent her the screenshots so she’d know I knew what I was talking about. She didn’t respond. I went to her place in the evening, and she started throwing my things I had in her room at me. “Thank God you’re here. Take them and leave my life alone. Go and start life with Tilly. It looks like you two deserve each other.”
Then she slammed the door in my face. I thought she would be regretful and say sorry. I thought she would cry and hold my legs and say, “Babe, I’m sorry. It’s the devil. Please forgive me.” There was no regret whatsoever in her eyes. I should have been the one leaving her, but she was the one throwing my things away.
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I called her dad. He was the only person I could discuss this with and ask him to advise his daughter. I said, “Becky is sleeping around with big men while I’m struggling to marry her in a few months. And she’s there throwing my things out.”
Her dad responded, “Then leave her. What do you want from a cheating woman? That’s what happens when you want to marry a woman beyond your pocket.”
Then he dropped the call on me.
I screamed, “Eiii, anaa the father is also suffering from her juju?”
That’s where I’m currently at. I can’t go forward or backwards. I know what we had is done, but I’ve invested everything I had in our future marriage. I have nothing in the bank and very little in my pocket.
Where do I go from here?
Women… hmmm.
—Joel
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You have invested all you have in the to be marriage that your bank account is empty and almost nothing on you. Youngman you are just not ready for marriage. How can you be struggling to put together marriage list financially and claim you wanna marry? Do you know what is marriage financially?
God has saved you oooo…
Just try and pick yourself up and move on. You saw no regret nor remorse from her side….count yourself lucky
First of all, I see this as a testimony. There’s no confusion here. God has saved you from a terrible marriage laced with STD & STI and shame and disgrace. Forget about the money you spent preparing to marry her.
Secondly, you were supposed to talk to your dad first so he advises you on the next step since your mind was not clear, (cos your emotions were all over the place) not calling your potential in law directly. His daughter is giving him plenty money from her “errands” so he will support her. In addition, you struggling financially makes your situation worse before him.
Please move on with your life and try to forget her. One day you will look back and thank God. I wish you well.