For 34 years of my life, I’ve met all sorts of people: the funny ones, the smooth talkers, the sweet ones, the fake church ones, the stingy ones, and even the ones who pretend to be serious but are just after one thing. Sex. Yet not a single one has ever been generous to me from a genuine place. Never.

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Anytime someone does something nice, there’s always a hidden condition. It’s either they want my body, ask for nudes, or demand some favour in return. Even when they claim to like you, it’s like they’re calculating what they’ll gain from you.

And the funny thing is, even the few I ended up dating always took advantage of me and left. Some drained me emotionally, others financially. So when I come to this page and read stories of men who are buying gifts, giving emotional support, and being faithful, I just shake my head and laugh small. Because in my world, that kind of man has refused to show up.

Once, I met a guy here on Facebook. We started chatting. It was normal friendly vibes. Then one day, he suggested we meet in person. I agreed.

Right on our first date, we were just talking when out of nowhere, he asked me to sleep with him. I was appalled. I told him, “I will do no such thing.”

To my shock, this man pulled out his thing and asked me to help him c*m. Like seriously? I just walked away. I couldn’t even process the nonsense.

Then there’s another one who had been chasing me for three good years. He called every week, checked up on me, said he was serious about me — the whole package. So when I finally agreed to give him a chance, I thought maybe this one would be different. But the very same day I said yes, he called and asked me to come and spend the weekend so we could go to a night beach.

At first, I said okay, thinking it would just be a casual outing. But as I lay in bed thinking, something told me, “My sister, you know how these weekend visits end.” I’ve already made a personal vow that I won’t have sex before marriage again, so I decided to avoid the temptation altogether. I texted him politely, that I wouldn’t make it.

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My people, since that day, I haven’t heard from him again. No calls, no texts, no “how are you.” Just complete silence. He disappeared like smoke. And that’s when I realised most of them don’t actually want love. They just want to sleep with you and go.

I am sharing this story because I’m tired. I want to know where exactly the lucky ladies on this page meet good and responsible men. Are they in some secret WhatsApp group I don’t know about? Or is it that maybe my village people are on assignment?

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Sometimes I even start wondering if it’s my nyash or boobs that are not worth good and kind men. Maybe the shape too no dey do justice. Maybe it’s time I save some money and do BBL ooo!

Anyway, all jokes aside, I’m still hopeful. I know not all men are bad. And until it’s my turn, I’ll keep enjoying these stories and hoping that one day, I’ll come here to post my own beautiful story too. A story that will make someone else say, “Ei, did this really happen?”

—Nessa

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