I was with Caleb for almost four years. And in that fourth year, something changed. He became distant. Cold. Communication turned into a one-sided effort, and I was the only one trying to keep us afloat.

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Caleb doesn’t know how to talk. Not really. When things weren’t going well, I was always the one to notice. The one to speak up. And when I did, he’d either brush it off or ghost me for two or three days. If I got angry, he’d match my silence. It was a long-distance relationship, but even over the phone, he refused to have mature, honest conversations. He’d ask to meet, but I was always the one expected to travel.

He is incredibly close to my family. Like, my dad calls him and they just vibe. He spends nights at our house when my dad invites him over. My family loves him. They know him. They’re comfortable with him. And that made me feel like maybe if I left, I’d be the bad one. Like I’d be rejecting something my whole family had accepted

He promised to make things official. He said he’d let my family know we were together. But when it came time to act, he froze. He talked about marriage, and I told him I wasn’t ready. I had just graduated from fashion school and was trying to build myself financially. He said he couldn’t wait two more years. He said that like it was a problem. Like my life and my timeline didn’t matter as much as what he wanted.

That’s when things really started to fall apart. I felt like I was in the relationship alone. I tried to make it work, but can two walk together unless they agree?

The day I stopped calling was the day I walked away. And I knew I wasn’t coming back.

For three weeks, he didn’t hear from me. Then he started calling. I ignored it. Even on WhatsApp. A few months later, I woke up to a long message accusing me of being with another guy. He said I was cheating. I was hurt, but I still didn’t respond.

I used all of 2024 to heal. Really heal. Not the surface kind of healing where you just stop crying. The deep kind where you actually figure out what you’re worth and what you won’t accept anymore.

Then someone new came along. A guy who’d been my friend for almost a year. He asked to take our friendship to the next level. I took my time. He was helpful. Kind. I loved his aura. He was everything Caleb wasn’t—he assured me, took accountability when he messed up, and promised to do better.

But lately, he’s been distant too. He’s a busy person, and I understand that. But I’d call and get no answer. I’d text and get no reply. Yet his status would be updated, and my messages would still be hanging. It’s been months now with no communication.

Still, I want to give him grace. He’s been good to me. And I’d rather call him to order than run back to Caleb.

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Because now, Caleb is back. Apologizing. Showing up at my house. Kneeling. Begging. I told him I’ve forgiven him, but I can’t go back. He doesn’t know I’m in a new relationship. His apology feels genuine, but I know him. I know how he moves. And I know how easy it is to fall back into old feelings.

I think he’s finally feeling the pain of losing me. I’ve been there before. He’ll survive.

As for me, I’m confused. I’m trying to protect my peace. I’m trying not to rekindle anything with Caleb. I’m trying to hold space for the new guy, even though he’s been quiet lately.

I just want clarity. I want love that doesn’t make me question myself. I want someone who chooses me, fully, without hesitation.

—Catherine

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