If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

On her forty-first birthday, she asked me, “How do you want us to celebrate the birthday?” I said, “It’s your birthday. You decide and I roll with it.” She said, “On my fortieth birthday, I made a lot of noise and celebrated it hugely because it was a milestone. I want this one to be a quiet one. Should we do it in the house?” I said, “Why not? That’s also perfect.” For three days, we were indoors, eating and eating (You know what I mean?) She introduced me to wines I could never afford and, in the process, developed a taste for them. I experienced a professional massage for the first time in my life when she laid me on the tale one evening and massaged me until I slept.

I was service personnel with zero amount in my account but she made life easy for me. There was nothing I asked that I couldn’t get and there was no place too far for us to go. We lived life like there was no tomorrow. One day she asked me, “How would you feel if I start a relationship with someone new? Someone my age?” I asked her, “What then become of us?” She said, “I don’t know. If it gets intense, I might forget about us because the two of us actually have no future together.” I said, “You keep saying we don’t have a future. I keep telling you that you’re the one I want. What else should I do for you to trust me?” She said, “I trust you but I don’t trust the kind of society we find ourselves in. It won’t allow us to thrive.”

I said, “You’re only forty-one. If you don’t tell someone your age, they won’t even know that you’re forty-one so why do you talk as if it’s impossible for the two of us to date?” She said, “I’m being realistic while you allow love to blind you. Anyone, there’s someone trying to get my attention. He’s a cute guy. Forty-eight years and ready to start something with me. I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m only telling you.” I thought she was testing the depth of my love for her. I said, “Stop joking with me. You know I would do anything to be with you.” She said, “I’m not joking. I can show you our chats. It’s getting serious by the day.”

My heart skipped several beats. I said, “Please don’t say yes to him. You know you’re everything that I have. Why would you do this to me?” She said, “I haven’t said yes to him yet but it’s likely I will. As I said, he’s at my level and also an age mate. I love you but there’s nothing in this for us.” I always knew I loved her but I never for once knew how deep the love was until I had a competition. I asked her, “What should I do for you to say no to him?” She said, “Honestly I don’t know.”

From that day, I started fighting for her love and attention, something I’d never done in my life. When I called and she didn’t pick, I got restless. I will keep calling and calling until I hear her say hello. One night, I called and it was call waiting. I never stopped calling until she picked. She said, “I’m on the phone with him. Let me finish and get back to you.” Before I could say anything, all I heard was, “Your call had been put on hold…” I got up, wore my trousers, picked my shirt, and stepped out. I headed straight to her house. By the time I got there and knocked on her door, she was still on phone talking to this guy.

When she saw me she was surprised. She said, “Dear, let me call you back.” She hung up the call and came to me. She said, “You didn’t tell me you were coming.” You’ve started calling him Dear? Please tell me what’s going on because I’m disturbed.” She said, “Nothing is going on. We are just talking.” I said, “I heard you call him dear. What is happening?” She said, “It’s just an expression but why are you acting so possessive?” I told her, “I need to fight for what’s mine.”

She laughed at me. She said, “Come over here.” I sat next to her. She said, “Let’s not allow emotions to cloud our minds. You and I know that we don’t have a future. But what I need now more than anything is someone I can build a future with and this guy is the one. Yeah, I said yes to him but hey, you and I are still here.” That night was special. We made love like our life depended on it. I begged her not to leave. She promised not to leave me.

I never knew things could go that deeply. I became overly cringy to my own surprise. I wanted to be with her at any given time. At first, we traveled to Accra every weekend but ever since she met that guy, we stopped traveling to Accra. I knew I could have her all to myself in Accra but because of that guy, she stopped traveling with me. All the attention I once had, she gave to that guy. I only had the chance to pick up the crumbs after that guy had finished with her.

She was the reason I stayed in Kumasi after my national service. She was the reason I was looking for work in Kumasi. She was the reason I renewed my rent for two more years after national service. I built my world around her thinking everything was going to remain the same with her. In March 2020 when it became very clear that we would be going on a lockdown, I asked her, “So what are your plans?” She said, “He’ll be here throughout the lockdown, that’s what he told me so that’s the plan.” I asked, “So what happens to me? Where do I go?” She said, “I don’t know. You can go to Accra or be here, you decide. If you want to see me, I can see you.”

She gave me two options but it sounded like she would rather have me in Accra than to be in Kumasi so days before the lockdown, I went to her place and it was fireworks. I did it like it was going to be my last time. I did it the way she loved it so she can always remember how good I am. To her it was lovemaking. To me, it was a competition I had to win. I left for Accra before the lockdown was announced. I tried not to call her for a week and see if she would call. She never did. That was when I realized our time was over. All through the lockdown she never called and I never did. Maybe she didn’t think about me but I did every day—thinking what she was doing and whether or not that guy was giving her the best form of companionship.

It was days after the lockdown that she called me. She asked, “Are you coming back to Kumasi?” I said, “I will come and pack the few things I have left there in the room. I’ve decided to come back to my root.” She said, “And you didn’t tell me anything?” I said, “You didn’t want to know. You are so into him that you don’t care what happens to me.” She said, “Don’t worry, I will make it up to you.”

I left Kumasi and vowed not to call her or have anything to do with her again. She was right. She loved me with her eyes opened to the realities on the ground. I loved her with my eyes closed, thinking if I close my eyes to the realities, the realities would also close their eyes on me. Too bad things don’t work that way. You can die and resurrect later but the realities would still be what they are. No one would have accepted our relationship. Eighteen years gap was too much for us to fill. I knew it but I just didn’t want to accept the truth.

Currently, she and that guy are still together. I jealously refused that they looked good together but I think they do and I hope the guy makes her happy.

–Martin   

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