If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

They say the truth shall set you free but knowing the truth shattered me into pieces. For several days I couldn’t eat. I would only stay indoors and cry. I was at work one day when tears started flowing down my cheeks. I didn’t see it coming and I was unaware until a colleague asked, “Frances, what’s the matter with you? Why are you crying?” I cleaned my eyes and told her, “Everything is fine.” She asked, “Everything is fine and you’re crying?” I said, “Yeah, I’m fine.” It happened again another time. My boss called me to her office. She asked, “Do you need some days off?” I said, “No, I’m scared to be alone.” She asked, “So what’s the problem? I know you. This is not who you are?” I told her the whole story while sobbing.”

She said, “This is hard. You need some time off to clear your mind. I will put in one week’s leave for you. If after one week you still need more time, just tell me, I will extend it for you. “I picked my bag and left the office. While in the trotro going home. I was crying. Not knowing the mate had been trying to get my attention for a while but I wasn’t noticing him. At some point, he said, “Yeees, the woman crying.” Everyone turned to look at me. I wiped off the tears and paid him.

At some point, I asked myself, “This is not the first time a man has lied to me and break my heart so why does this hurt so badly?” My ex before this one, Martin. He was a crook guy. He lied about everything, even little things that you didn’t expect him to lie about it, he did lie about them. I stayed with him for two years listening to his lies every day. I did everything you can imagine with him. I loved him and he did enough to prove to me that he loved me too. He was a great guy but lies wouldn’t allow him to live a better life.

When I caught him lying, I forgave him so I could still have him around. One day, after a heated argument about a girl he lied about, he told me, “It’s ok. You don’t trust me so I don’t see the reason why we should be together. Go your way let me also go my way.” I thought he was joking. I mean that wasn’t the first time we were breaking up. We could break up in the morning and come back together in the afternoon and break up again in the evening. It was one of those things but that day, Martin meant what he said. He left me and no amount of words could bring him back.

I didn’t cry? I didn’t break down for days? I just dust off my shoulders and moved on as if nothing happened. So why was this one killing me slowly? I asked myself, “Is it because he was living in the UK that’s why it hurt so bad? Maybe I had hopes of moving to the UK with him, have kids, and take pictures in the snow.” That too wasn’t the reason. It hurt because for once in my life, I played by the rules and fell on the sharp edges of the rules. “Don’t have sex immediately.” I did. “Try to know him better.” I did. Make sure you know his relatives.” I did. “Let him introduce you to his parents.” I did. “Make sure he’s committed to the relationship.” What commitment is more than someone coming home to see your parents with a drink? Trust some men, they’ll jump over the hurdles effortlessly and still get what they want from you and later vanish.

His friend who leaked the truth to me didn’t stop talking to me. He called often to ask how I was doing. When I wasn’t doing well, he came around to visit me. We went out one day and throughout the night, he apologized for what his friend had done. He encouraged me to be stronger. He didn’t stop telling me about his friend. One day he said, “I spoke to him about you. I asked why he did all that to you and wouldn’t talk to you again. He said he didn’t do any knocking. He only came to visit you and you introduced him to your family so the next time when he was coming around, he decided to bring your family a drink.”

I screamed, “Heeeer! Is that what he said? This guy is a devil. Who goes to visit someone with a Schnapp these days? How about the list he collected? How about the two people he said were his family?” Martin said, “As I said, it was a grand scheme he pulled off just to sleep with you and if he could go that far just for sex, then we all have to be careful around him. He can do anything.”

Time heals and it’s true. Slowly I thought about the whole issue less and less until I could think about it and smile. I started 2020 with a new resolution. I said to myself, “No man is worth the struggle so I will live my life freely and happily without getting involved in any relationship.” In March 2020 I found a man. I did everything in my power to repel him but he kept coming and coming until I had no option than to listen to him. I met him at a business executive seminar I went to with my boss. He knew my boss too well so he used my boss to get to me. My boss said, “He’s a good man. I’ve known him for a long time. It doesn’t mean he can’t mess up. People change so be careful.”

Just when we were about to hit it off, Corona happened and we got locked up in our rooms. He made the loneliness bearable because he was always with me on the phone. He gave me his Netflix account and recommended movies for me to watch. Sometimes we’ll both watch one movie at the same time and discuss it as we watch. He slowly crept into my heart with different tactics. Men. Just when you are tired of them, another will appear out of nowhere and make your world spin. I told him the story of the UK guy and to date, he teases me with it.

In December thereabout, Martin called me. He said, “Your man is coming back so be on the alert. Just in case you want to meet him and get the closure that you want.” Hearing that he was coming revived all the hatred I’d reserved for him. I told him, “Good. Please let me know immediately he touches down. That guy will sweat that day when he sees me.” I called my mom and told her. She said, “Good. That day I will like to go with you so I can give his drink back to him. We are not gods to drink a Schnapp.”

Another day Martin called. He said, “They are in.” I asked, “They?” He said, “Yeah he came with the whole family.” In my mind, I said, “Perfect. That means I can get his wife involved so his wife would know the kind of man she’s married to.” At some point, I decided to discuss it with my boyfriend. I didn’t like a situation where he’ll hear about it and ask why I didn’t tell him. I discussed the whole plan with him and he said, “Dear it’s not necessary. You’ve moved on so this won’t worth the effort and emotions you’ll invest in. Allow him. For all you know, he’s a good husband and a good father to his kids. If you bring them in, you hurt their emotions forever. Don’t do it.”

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I said, “You men will always defend each other. I need to teach him a lesson.” He asked, “And then what?” I answered, “And then he’ll know the pain I went through.” He asked, “And then what?” He kept asking “and then what” until I gave up. So, I asked, “What about the drink?” He answered, “He said it wasn’t meant for knocking. It was just for a show. So, take it as that. Your parents can dash it out at the next funeral they go.”

When Martin called one day giving me the rundown of his movement and how I can make an entry at the location, I told him, “I’m concerned about his wife and kids so I’ll forgive him but I know it wouldn’t end there. He’ll meet someone who will do worse to him. I leave him in those hands.”

So, I’ve been here enjoying my life and watering this relationship I’ve found myself in. I believe him because I’ve seen his methods. I’m not going to stick my neck out and say “It’s going to end in marriage,” No. I will take it a day at a time and see where the tides will leave us. The most important thing now is, I’m a happy woman. This I know.

–Frances

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