I barely check my message requests on Facebook messenger because it’s normally full of men trying to get my attention. The reasonable ones come to say “Hello” or “Hi” and leave it there hoping for a response. The annoying ones say things like “Hello pretty” or “Hey baby” as if that is what would persuade me to give them my attention. And we have the crazy ones who send attachments. Make a mistake and open it and you will find their joystick staring at you in your own inbox. This is why I find it such a chore to even use Facebook messenger.

However, on one particular day, I was super bored so I went through the requests carefully and one stood out. I noticed he had gone through my profile. He copied my favourite quote and sent it to me, and then he asked, “What’s the inspiration behind this quote?” So I accepted his request and we started talking. He was very fun and attentive. Unlike many others I had met on the app, speaking to him didn’t feel like a task. I enjoyed every conversation with him. After close to a week he asked that we meet up after a vacation he was having in Takoradi. I said yes, because why not?

When we met I was quite taken aback. He didn’t look anything like he did in his pictures. I suppose in this day of technological growth, people edit their photos to look like versions of themselves they wish they actually looked. The man in the photos was handsome with toned muscles and seemed tall. The man I met is short, portly, and how do I even put this, not good-looking at all. He catfished me. But I didn’t mind. He was still a great conversationalist and that really mattered to me. So I didn’t say anything about his appearance. I just carried on with the night and it went perfectly. The date was awesome. He made me laugh and I believe I also made him laugh.

A few weeks and a couple of dates later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him, “I really like you, but we just met. We don’t know each other well enough. I want us to take our time so we get it right.” “Yes, you are right. There is no need to rush things,” he said. From then, he did everything possible to woo me. He would come and take me from work to have special lunches. I remember our long drives to the beach. He did little yet significant things that melted my heart. He is a very thoughtful man. He even introduced me to his friends.

One day he called me around noon on a Sunday and said I should get ready for a ride because he had some issues on his mind. I got ready and he came to pick me up. He had this weird look on his face and I kept asking if everything was alright. He told me, “I was once married but I am recently divorced.” I was livid that he didn’t tell me that about himself earlier but I kept my temper in check as I asked, “What happened?” He responded, “My wife cheated on me. I tolerated it and forgave her but she kept doing it. Then I found out that she didn’t love me. She only married me because of my money.” There and then I felt sorry for him. “No one deserves a cheating opportunistic partner,” I thought. He apologized for not telling me about it earlier. He said he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to upset me.

READ MORE: I’m Dating A Catholic Priest But That’s Not The Problem

After he opened up to me, I felt ready to take things to the next level. So I planned to say yes to his proposal that night. We were having dinner at my favourite restaurant, so it was going to be perfect. Before I could make my move he decided to show me a picture he had taken that morning. I watched the photo and mistakenly scrolled left. What I saw made my heart beat irregularly. This man was busily giving another woman a kiss on the cheek. I pretended I didn’t see anything and gave him his phone back.

We continued our dinner uneventfully. I swallowed the answer I was about to give him and ended the night earlier than usual. When I got home I went through his socials looking for clues that he had someone else. It didn’t take long for me to notice a woman with his surname commenting on all his posts. The woman didn’t have any pictures on her page so I searched for her on LinkedIn and voila, she was his Mrs. She was the same woman he was kissing in the photo.

She is a very beautiful lady. Eiii men! You this man with this your face and such a pretty lady has accepted to marry you, and you are out here trying to cheat on her. I didn’t let him know what I found out. I decided to teach him a lesson first.

He called one day and I complained about my rent. Instantly, he sent me the sum of two years’ advance of my rent. When I thanked him he said, “It’s not a problem. After all, it is going to be my second home when you say yes to me. I will spend all my free time there with you.” I was annoyed but I didn’t say anything. Another time I hid my phone and when he picked me up for a date, I said it was missing. Right in front of me he went to an ATM and withdrew GHC3000 for me to get a new one. That was just the beginning.

His Wife Found Out About Us | Beads Media

As time passed, I strung him along and spent his money till I got tired of him. I then told him I don’t want a relationship with him. He started ranting about how he had wasted his money on me. “After everything I have done for you, you are telling me no. You are so ungrateful.” I didn’t talk. I just forwarded his wife’s pictures and accounts to him.

He started pleading with me, “I am sorry. Please don’t wreck my home. I don’t want to lose my wife.” I just shook my head and thought, “This man is very lucky we didn’t have sex or that I didn’t accept his proposal before finding out that he is married. If I did, he would have cursed his stars for ever meeting me.” As for his friends and all of you men out there who know your friends are married but aid them to act single to get into the pants of young women, your time will come. Trust me.

–Naa

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.