My wife is dating a woman. This woman my wife is dating is also married and has three kids. My wife and I have a child who is only three years old. I never suspected anything was going on between them because they are women, and I also thought they were birds of a feather since they are both married.

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Anytime my wife went out and wasn’t home early, and I asked where she went, she would mention this lady’s name. “I was with Jada. I was helping her do something.”

This had gone on for so long I thought I should investigate and see if indeed she had been going to Jada. I checked my wife’s phone, and she didn’t have any message history between her and Jada. That was the first red flag because how could two women be good friends and not chat?

So when she came home late one evening and quickly rushed to the bathroom, I picked up her phone and started checking to see if there was a new chat, and yes, there was.

The oldest messages were three days old. They were talking about how rude the hotel receptionist was to my wife, and my wife suggested they shouldn’t go there again. Jada asked, “Maybe she’s suspecting us of something.” My wife responded, “Are we using her ‘kpekus’ to do what we do?”

I knew it was going to be a long read, so I left the house with her phone. When I returned, she was lying there looking like someone had beaten her. She said, “Why should you go through my phone?”

The things I read on the phone, it felt like it was Jada who paid the bride price. These are mothers and wives. You’ll look at them and see virtue dripping off their skins, but in the dark, nothing else matters. What hurt me the most is the names they called us husbands, as if we were trees planted in their lives.

She couldn’t deny anything apart from, “It’s the work of the devil…” and “You didn’t listen to my emotional needs even when I talked about them.”

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Surprisingly, I’m not hurt the way I expected to be hurt, but I don’t think we’ll survive this storm. She had made promises. She had sworn to things I didn’t know existed, but her mom knows about it. Her dad is out of the country, but I believe he’s also aware by this time.

Dear men, our rivals are not only men. Please open your eyes. While you scream about DNA, some of them laugh because they know what they are doing—DNA can’t detect it.

—Derrick

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