We started dating before I went to tertiary school. I am currently in my final year and our relationship is five years old. We are good together. We easily understand each other, so we don’t often argue or fight. No one is perfect, I know. But I can boldly say that my girl is perfect for me.

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Our plan is for us to start saving toward marriage as soon as I complete school and get a job. That’s why she introduced me to her parents a few months ago.

They seemed to like me when we met. Their warm and welcoming reception made me feel I was already a part of the family. Well, imagine my surprise when I got home and my girlfriend called me sounding emotional.

“My parents say our backgrounds are too different. They want me to break up with you,” she almost wept.

It’s true. Her family is well-to-do while I come from a struggling family. I know have the potential to be someone great, she sees it too. Nonetheless, parents don’t usually look out for potential when it comes to their daughters. They want security, something I don’t have right now.

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Despite protests from her parents, we continued our healthy relationship. I am still holding on to her because she is good for me. Before I met her, I didn’t know what it meant to love a woman. I saw them as objects for my sexual satisfaction. I am not proud to admit this but I was a player. It was her presence in my life that changed.

When I fell in love with her, I let go of all my other women and stuck to only her. Even when her parents kicked against us, I tried to move on but it did not work. It’s as if my heart is locked to only love her.

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Sometimes I even feel she cast a spell on me. If not, why am I still with a woman whose parents have vehemently opposed our relationship? While I am willing to stick around and fight for her, my fear is that she might listen to her parents one day and leave with her. Then so much time would have passed.

Apart from her parents’ stance, my fears stem from the fact that my best friend’s girlfriend left him recently. Their relationship was nine years old. I don’t want to suffer the same fate. What do you advise I do? I love her deeply but her mother doesn’t want to see me anywhere near her at all.

—James

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