My wife and I have been married for eight years. Our love story began when we met at the workplace. It was one of those unexpected things that turned out to be a blessing. She is beautiful on the inside and on the outside, I really hit a jackpot with her.

When we first met I was charmed by her warm personality. There was something about her that always felt like home. She made difficult days bearable just by talking to me. It didn’t matter what we spoke about, I just had to see her or hear her say something. That’s how our friendship began. I couldn’t tame my constant need to be near her. It wasn’t just me, she felt the same way too. This only made us inseparable.

Even when we were just friends people assumed we were more than friends. We didn’t rush things despite everyone’s assumptions. We took our time to nurture our friendship and grow our love until it was too big for our hearts to bear. At that point, I felt we were ready to take things to the next level. I sat her down one day and told her, “There is an undeniable connection between us and I don’t want to tiptoe around it anymore. I love you and I want to marry you. How do feel about it?” She smiled and said, “What took you so long? I have been waiting for you to make your move. I know you know that I love you but I am going to say it anyway. I love you Kofi and I will be happy to marry you.”

The interesting thing about our love story is that we fell in love without even knowing each other’s age. So later in the relationship, I learned that she was five years older than me. It didn’t matter to either of us. We loved and respected each other regardless of who was older than the other. I introduced her to my family and they loved her. I went to see her family as well and made my intentions known to them. Everything went smoothly with them. Later, I went there officially with my family to perform the knocking ceremony. They gave us their marriage list and Ama and I bought the things on the list together. She had an elaborate plan on how she wanted the traditional marriage to go. I let her handle all of it.

We didn’t do a grand church wedding, that’s something we both agreed on. We had a traditional ceremony, a court wedding, and a reception. It was perfect. My wife whose beauty cannot be rivaled looked even more beautiful on our wedding day. During the event, I kept muttering to myself, “How did I get so lucky with her?” Life after the wedding was pure bliss. We never allowed little misunderstandings to rest in our home. We kept open lines of communication thanks to the friendship we took our time to build.

We were very happy until we started trying to have a baby. The first month we tried, we expected to find out we were pregnant by the next month. Instead, my wife got her period. My wife said, “Maybe we got the timing of the ovulation mixed up. Let’s monitor it carefully next time.” I agreed with her. The next month we tracked her cycle and did all the bedroom moves when she was ovulating. This time we were sure we got it right. We were very expectant when her period date was getting near. We bought pregnancy test kits in preparation. That month too she got her period. We were a little disappointed but we weren’t going to give up after two tries. I read books on fertility and did a lot of research on what to do to enhance my fertility. I tried everything I found in the books. She also tried everything but every month we were disappointed by the red face of her monthly visitor.

After a few more tries we decided to go see a specialist. He ran some tests and told us we are both fine. He said, “You two are very healthy and very fertile. You should be able to conceive soon.” We went home and tried again but nothing happened. Someone recommended a different doctor, we went to see her. After several tests and examinations, she told us the same thing the previous doctor said. We are fine, we should be able to conceive. Even though we were frustrated about not being able to get pregnant, it didn’t cause problems in our marriage. If anything, it brought us closer together.

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We tried herbal centers and other fertility clinics but the answers we got from them were one and the same. There is no problem with either of us and we should be able to conceive. We have been at it for eight years and still no child but that’s not even my problem right now.

Five months ago, a woman came to our house looking for a place to put her container so she can sell. She wanted to put it in front of our house. My wife wasn’t home so I told the lady, “Let me speak to my wife and get back to you. Give me just a day to do that.” When my wife got home we discussed it and she said, “She can put it to the side so it doesn’t give the impression that the container is ours.”

The woman came around and I showed her where she could position it. This lady and I started talking. First, it was harmless conversations. I didn’t think much of it. Before I realized it, I’d developed feelings for her. I didn’t keep those feelings to myself, that would have been the right thing to do. I went ahead and proposed to her and she also accepted it.

We’ve been dating secretly for a while now. The problem now is that she is pregnant. Pregnancy is not something you can keep secret. It eventually comes out and exposes everything. Unfortunately for me, the lady lives in our neighborhood so my wife is bound to find out one way or the other.

I want to tell her before things blow out on my face. At this point, it’s inevitable. The truth is bound to come out and I’m ready to face the truth but how do I go about it so there would be little or no casualties? Please, advise me.

—Kofi

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