We started life together, me and Faith. Friends for many years. I was there through many failed relationships. When mine failed, she was there for me too. We were each other’s support system, never failing support system that was battered and bruised but kept giving. I was there when Edgar came along, a young beautiful man with many promises and resources. We were walking together when Edgar stopped to talk to Faith. She came back with a phone number. I told her, “Call him. He looks like a gentleman.”

From day one I was involved because if anything went wrong, I would have been the one to provide the emotional logistics to ward off the pain. Two years after meeting Edgar, Faith’s life changed, not towards me but towards everything else. Edgar had money and was ready to spread it on Faith. Whatever she needed, he provided. We were both in school, but Faith had everything. She only had to ask and it was given. I was happy for her. It wasn’t only money she was enjoying. Edgar looked like the real deal. He provided true love, friendship and security. At one point, I thought I’d lost my friend to a man.

A year after school, Edgar proposed marriage. When Faith called to tell me about her wedding, my mom was on her sick bed in Korlebu hospital, but I left the pain and my mom behind, rushed to her place to celebrate with her. We did it for a night, us and other mutual friends. When the celebration was over, I went back to the hospital to see my mom’s health deteriorating. She died two days later. Again, Faith was there. It was like a black-and-white affair. While she was planning her white wedding, I was planning the black funeral for my mother.

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I didn’t know how to juggle between the two emotions, be happy when with her and be sad when with my family. So I asked for time and space to bury my mom since the funeral came before the wedding. They were two months apart. Faith was busy, she told me. She wasn’t around as often as I wanted her to, and I understood her. During the funeral, she came with Edgar. Edgar gave me an envelope containing money. I was grateful, thankful actually.

After the funeral, I went straight to the wedding camp to meet all the things we had to buy for the wedding. I was chosen as the maid of honor so I had five different dresses to sew. One for pre-engagement, the engagement itself, the bachelorette, the wedding and the dinner right after the wedding. I looked at the cost involved and told myself, “I can’t buy everything. I don’t have the money.”

We were six ladies chosen as the bridal team. They were all working but I wasn’t and Faith knew it. I called her on the phone and told her what my problem was. “I don’t have the money to buy all that. I need help. I want to be with you through it all so help me.”

Faith was also unemployed but I felt if she spoke to Edgar about it, he would have helped. She promised she was going to help. Anytime we met, I reminded her. She kept telling me to wait so I waited. When the time was getting close, I used the money I had to buy the fabric for the maid of honour attire. The designer charged a lot for it but I knew it was the only one I could afford so I bought it while waiting for the help she promised. After rehearsals one day, I reminded her that we had only two weeks and I still hadn’t received the help she promised. That day she raised her voice at me, “I said I will so stop harassing me.”

I didn’t ask about it again until I accepted the help wasn’t going to come. During the pre-engagement outing and shoot, I wasn’t there. She didn’t also call to ask why. It was one of the ladies who called and I explained the situation to her. I called Faith to tell her I couldn’t join any of the phases but on the day of the wedding, I would be there because I got the dress. She said, “It won’t help the shoots. It’s OK, don’t bother.” Then she hung up the phone on me.

To be honest, I was very angry. I texted her listing all my grievances and what I thought she could have done better. She read the text but didn’t get back to me. I wasn’t perturbed. I was there during the engagement. I was there during the wedding. I was at the dinner too. I made sure I enjoyed the occasion. I remember hugging her during the photo shoot. I wasn’t angry. I was happy for a friend who had been with me through it all. I sent my gift and even sent her a message wishing her well on her marital journey. I thought we would pick up the friendship from where we left off after the wedding but it didn’t happen. She gave me a wide gap and I got the message.

Recently, one of the girls came to tell me Faith called me greedy because I asked her to help me. Faith told her that Edgar gave me a huge sum of money during my mom’s funeral and I could have used some of the money to sew the dresses if I really wanted to be there with her. I felt she was marrying a rich guy so I wanted to have my share of the money. I didn’t believe it at first until the lady showed me screenshots. She was telling me all that because Faith accused her of stealing some of her gifts during the wedding.

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The lady told me, “You can ask her if she didn’t say it. Mention my name that I told you and I will stand up for myself.” I wanted to but I realized the lady was recruiting me to fight her battle. I thanked her but told her I would fight it in my own way. She might have been disappointed but I felt that was the best way. Faith has been married for over three months and I haven’t heard from her since. Maybe one day she’ll call. Maybe she’ll never call because I no longer belong to her class. Whatever the case, I won’t confront her. I’m taking this as one of those days when I had to stand by her because I was all she had. I’m still standing by her though I’m standing alone.

—Barbara

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