We are getting married in June this year. On the 31st of December last year, we both resolved that we wouldn’t be intimate again until marriage. We’ve dated for two years and had done enough. We decided to reserve the rest until our big day. When we went to church that night, we held hands and prayed the same prayer that God should be our strength to be able to conquer our carnal desires until marriage.

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Brothers and sisters, it hasn’t been easy. If we didn’t take care, we would have broken our promise just by the 3rd of January. I visit him, and all I see are memories of what we’d done in his bed, in the hall, and even in the bathroom. I see his chest, and all I want is to lie in it and have him embrace me.

We can try. I can lie on his chest and just have conversations, but I know if I try, we’ll fail. So I stay away. It’s been a month already, and so far, so hard. I told him, “If this is going to succeed, we have to see each other less.” I didn’t see him for only three days, and can you imagine this guy came to knock on my door at dawn and said he wanted to spend the night with me?

That dawn too, it was only God who fought our fight for us. We nearly got jiggy. I remember telling him, “So what will happen if we do it only tonight and start reserving it again tomorrow?” He answered, “Oh yeah, after all, what?”

But we survived the urge. We traveled to the edges of our emotions, but in the end, our collective strength and desire to succeed made us prevail. Each day brings us to the edge, but we have up to June to get married. To me, it’s very unlikely we will make it, but we can only try.

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Before we break our own promise, I want to ask those who do it, how do you do it? Those who go like, “No knacking until marriage,” and actually succeed, how do you do it? Do you serve a special God than we do? Please teach us because eiii, the devil is strong ooo.

—Dede

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