“I love you.” Those are three simple words with three syllables, aren’t they? I just counted the letters, and they are only eight. How difficult can it be to tell someone you love, “I love you”? I am asking this question because I don’t remember the last time anyone said these words to me. It isn’t that I don’t have people in my life, I do. If you are wondering if I have a boyfriend, the answer is yes. I have a boyfriend I am crazy about. I tell him I love him all the time. He, on the other hand, hasn’t said the words to me in a very long time. Is this what happens when you’ve been with someone for as long as six years? Did the years gnaw at the love he has for me till there is nothing but emptiness left?

Ever since our relationship began, Marvin has done nothing but prove to me that I alone, am not enough for him. In the beginning, I thought I could get him to have eyes for only me, by driving away all the girls he went after. I only realized the errors of my ways after I got tired of fighting. When I say fighting, I am not speaking metaphorically. I was that girl who physically fought with other girls just because my man couldn’t keep it in his pants. His current girlfriend is a young Ghanaian girl. After I found out about her I went to look for her. I was going to put the fear of God in her so she would keep her little paws off my man.

She works at a retail shop so I went to her workplace. The plan was to make such a huge scene that the embarrassment alone would kill her interest in Marvin. Immediately I found her I confronted her, “Hey lady, I came here to warn you to stay away from my man. Today, I am talking to you peacefully. If you know what’s good for you, you will heed my warning.” While I was talking to her, one of her colleagues came to ask, “Ursula, what’s going on here?”

I turned to answer the person but I realized he was addressing her and not me. I’m also Ursula. I don’t know why, but the fact that she bears the same name as I do took out the fight in me. I quickly turned away and left before the situation could get worse. On my way back I kept speaking to myself like a crazy woman. “Marvin is such a sick guy. What did I do to him that he has to keep hurting me this way?” There is not a thing that this guy wants that I have not done for him. I give him shuperu whenever he wants it. And I give him money when he needs it. “Now, he has gone for a girl who has my name?” I almost shouted, “What next, will he now go for a girl who looks like me?”

After my first encounter with the new girl, I vowed never to fight with any other girl Marvin goes after. It took me a long time to figure this out but I have finally learned that he is not worth the trouble. My problem now is that Marvin and I are very popular in our town. Our relationship is known by everyone. Because of this, every little thing either of us does becomes news and spreads through the town like a harmattan bush fire. It is through this means that I heard that Ursula lives on the street next to my boyfriend’s street. The rumours say they both go to work together. I asked him about it and his response was anger, “I am not responsible for whatever gossip you choose to listen to. If you want to verify the truth of what you heard, do it without involving me.” That is typically how he responds to everything I ask him about other women.”

READ MORE: It Took The Worst Valentine’s Day Of My Life To Learn How Far Life Could Go

This new relationship he has going on has made me an object of ridicule in town. So I am not able to go out in public. People are whispering behind my back and pointing fingers at me wherever I go. Marvin knows this but he doesn’t care. He continues to flaunt his new girl around as if I don’t exist. I keep asking myself if he is cold toward me because I am not a Ghanaian like he is, or if it’s because he is a bit younger than me. Is he ashamed to be with me? I tried to have a conversation with him about our relationship. He told me, “Not everything is about you. The fact that I am withdrawing from you doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you anymore. I am just dealing with some family stress right now.” “What kind of stress? Maybe I can help.” “Of course, you would love to swoop in and save the day like Supergirl. See, it’s not every problem that you and your family can throw money at.” He retorted.

What he meant by that statement was, there was a time his family was facing accommodation problems. I felt so bad about the toll it had on him, so I confided in my family about it. My family has money, and we also happen to be philanthropic. So we decided to divert some funds we already budgeted for charity work into helping Marvin’s family. The long and short of it all is that we built a small house for them. My family only agreed to do it because of my relationship with Marvin, yet this guy treats me like trash. I have left him several times, but I end up going back to him. I love him so much that I can’t sleep if I don’t see him or hear his voice.

When God Throws A Wife On Your Table–Beads Media

I was trying to use my connections to get him a good job, but what he did during our last fight has me rethinking my decision. I don’t live with him but a few of my belongings were at his place. During our fight, he threw my stuff outside. He later came to apologize. Although I have forgiven him, I am seeing everything I was once blind to. For instance, he works at a salon and doesn’t earn much, but he has never gifted me anything since we started dating. Even if he bought me chocolate that cost a cent, I would know that it is coming from a place of love. If I take money from him for anything at all, he makes sure I repay it. I believe he is only with me because of my family. He is in love with my family, and I am just his link to them.

Right now, what I need is help. How do I get out of this miserable thing called a relationship? I know I shouldn’t be with him, but I can’t seem to leave him and stay gone. Please is there any formula I can follow to block him from my heart?

—Ursula

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