I caught him cheating with a girl at the university. From their chats, I found out he had gotten the girl a hostel, and she told him she wanted to rent a place instead because the hostel wasn’t private. My husband agreed and asked her to look for a place. He was going to pay for it after she’d found one.

When I confronted my husband, he confessed that our marriage wasn’t working for him and that he wanted to leave. I wasn’t overly shocked because I’d seen some signs. I asked if that was what he wanted, and he asked me to give him a month to think things through properly. I gave him a month, but I was ready for the worst.

Before the month was up, I found out I was pregnant. I told him and even apologized for the pregnancy at a time when we were going through a divorce. He said, “I’ll wait until you have the child before we proceed.”

I told him he didn’t have to wait. We could do it quickly so we could go our separate ways. I was saying all that to test his resolve to end the marriage. But he went ahead and announced the divorce to his parents. I did the same too, and both families, after going back and forth, agreed that we should divorce.

That same month, we went through the traditional one and submitted the court papers too. He was the one who left. But he would come around every now and then to pick up some of his things. I was welcoming. Sometimes I even cooked for him while he was there to pick up his things. He would get tired and sleep for a while. It was still his house. He paid the rent.

Finally, he moved out completely. I had a boy. That made him our second son after seven years of marriage. He came for the naming ceremony. He came for his first birthday. He came when he had to go to school for the first time. He played his role diligently as a father.

On the third birthday of our second child, he told me, “I want to come back home. Is there a chance?”

I shook my head but asked why. He said, “I haven’t been able to move on. I see you, and I realise the mistake I made. Why would I throw all this away?”

I nodded while he talked, but I insisted we were better off the way we were. I had moved on long ago. My heart was closed to any reconciliation. I dated a guy who wasn’t clear about his intentions for us, so I left him. He also dated the girl he left me for. Later, he dated another lady from Canada. He was still in a relationship with another lady when he was asking to come back. He said, “That is just a relationship. I have even told her I might return to my wife, and she understands.”

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I thanked him very much, but I said no. I wanted to be free. And since I’d dated another person, there was no way back for us.

He’s still begging. He’s now using my elder son to get to me. He tells him what he should tell me, like, “Mom, I miss Daddy when he was here. Can he come back?” Or, “Mom, everyone has a dad in the house. Why isn’t mine here?”

I get the trick, but I’m sorry. There’s no way back for him.

—Diana

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