She started coming around when my wife traveled. She would call and ask, “How are you managing in the absence of your wife? Who is cooking for you?” I would tell her, “I’m managing. I get to buy food when I’m coming home from work. It’s not that bad.” She would then say, “You know this outside food and its complications. It’s better you eat from home.”

So one weekend she called to ask if I was home and I said yes. Minutes later she was knocking on my door. I was surprised when I saw her. She said, “Let me cook something for you. I can help clean around too.” I let her in and a few minutes later, food was on the table. House was as cleaned as my wife did. While I was eating, she was at the bathroom doing laundry. Honestly, I didn’t know I needed such help until she came around. When she was leaving, I tried to give her money and she rejected it. She said, “Don’t embarrass me. How can I accept money for something I did freely from my heart? Call me when you need me.” 

So the next weekend I called her and she came. The following weekend too, I did call her and she came. Then she started coming around on weekdays too. After work, I’ll pass by her end and bring her home. Something knocked something one of those evenings and we found ourselves in bed. She spent the night there and spent many other nights in the subsequent days. We didn’t talk about who we had become but it was obvious. She accepted her role as the side chick and I also accepted my role in her life. 

Things were moving smoothly until my wife returned. She made me promise her that I wouldn’t leave her when my wife comes and I did. But then when my wife came, it became very difficult to talk to her or see her. I was frank about it. I told her, “When she’s around and you call, I can’t pick and I can’t call back because she’ll ask who I’m talking to and I wouldn’t have answers.” She said, “Then you’ll have to find a way. You’re the man and we are two people in your life now so you have to find a way to satisfy us both.” I asked, “How?” She answered, “It’s all up to you. You have to decide on what to do.”

My wife’s head would be on my lap at night and this girl would be calling me. If I didn’t pick, my wife would suspect something. So I’ll pick and say something random and hang up. That got her more infuriated. She’ll send a text calling me all sorts of names. I didn’t mind. It got to a point I had to put my phone on a plane mode whenever I was home so she wouldn’t call. The thing became too much for me so I met her one day to bring finality to the relationship. I said, “I can’t continue. You demand so much from me that I can’t keep up so let’s call it quit and go our separate ways.” 

She said, “No, that can’t happen. We just started. You and I knew what we were getting ourselves into before we did. So please don’t start.” Then she said, “My menses had delayed for three days. It better not be what I’m suspecting.” I asked, “Are you serious? Since when and why didn’t you tell me?” I didn’t know what I was even saying but I knew I was in trouble and had to play fast.

I called her every morning and evening, asking how she was feeling. She said, “I’m enjoying this kind of attention you give me recently. So why didn’t you do this all this while? Huh?” In my mind, I was doing all that to calm her down. I wanted to put her at ease to know whether or not she was indeed pregnant. One week later she said it still hasn’t come. I asked her to do a test. I ended up paying Ghc1000 before she did that test. She said, “It’s positive.” I said, “Show me the positive test kit.” She asked, “What do you need it for? Are you a doctor?” I said, “But how will I know if it’s true?” She said, “I don’t care whether you believe it or not. Nine months is not far from here. We would see the results. 

I was tempted to think she was lying but pregnancy isn’t something you assume it’s a lie. So I had to keep pampering her to be able to get what I wanted. I continued calling her every morning and evening. Listening to her when she didn’t have anything sensible to say. I asked what we were going to do about the pregnancy and he said, “There’s nothing to do. I’m happy to be the one to give you the first child.” My heart. I wish I could punch her through the phone but my fingers were in her mouth so I couldn’t hit her on the head.

The next morning, I went to see her. I put on my persuasive cup, tried all I could to get her to understand me. I said, “If you give birth for me, it would be very difficult for you to marry. How many men like to stay with a woman who already has a child? Think about it and think about the future. I’m here for you. I won’t go anywhere if we get rid of this. Giving birth doesn’t change anything. I can come for the kid and that would be the end. Let’s do the right thing.” She said, “Ok, so what do we have to do?” 

She called the next day asking for GHC2,000. I asked, “What for?” She said, “That’s how much I need.” For peace to prevail, I sent it.” Three days later,  she said, “There were complications, so send Ghc1000. I said I didn’t have money. She said, “Maybe you don’t want us to do it.” I asked, “What did you use the first money for?” This girl continued stressing my life until one day she told me she was never pregnant but she wanted to teach me a lesson I will never forget.

READ ALSO: My Boyfriend Left Me Because I Pee So Loud

I should have been angry but I wasn’t. Knowing that the whole thing was a charade was such a big relief for me. I told her, “Thank you for the lessons but the next time you get closer to me, I’ll cause your arrest. I don’t care what happens afterward so don’t try me.” One day she called, “If you don’t send me money, I’ll send screenshots to your wife on Facebook.” I said, “If you need her number, I’ll give it to you. That would make it easier.” I didn’t hear from her again. 

One day, I was at the mall with my wife when I saw her holding hands with a guy at the Shoprite. She kept staring at us. I pretended I didn’t t know she was around. That was the last time I saw her. The trouble she took me through, I told myself, “Never in my life would I do such a thing again.” When my wife travels, I cook my own food. Mostly it turns out badly but I eat it with no one so who cares. I do my own washing and cleaning. So far so good. I’m still alive. No man ever died because he didn’t have a side chick. 

–Rex 

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.