When I was 17, my eldest cousin and her best friend, Ama, were both 28. I used to call Ama my wife as a joke. Every time I did, she’d just laugh and say, “You’re a small boy.” She wasn’t wrong. I was a minor while she was in her late twenties. Besides, I didn’t mean it when I addressed her as such. I just admired her beauty, that’s all. Even though sometimes I kissed her cheek, I was still never serious.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

When my uncle passed away, Ama joined us for the funeral in Takoradi. During the trip, she sat next to me in the car. At one point, her hand accidentally brushed against my groin area. She quickly pulled it away, looked at me strangely, and stayed quiet for the rest of the ride. 

The moment we arrived at our destination, she asked me, “What were you thinking about when we were in the car?” I was confused. I didn’t understand why she asked that question. Then she asked why I had an erection while I sat beside her. I told her I didn’t, but she insisted I did. She didn’t believe me. She rather warned me, “You are a small boy so don’t entertain such thoughts.” I didn’t want things to be awkward so I joked, “It is you who is a small girl to me.”

Instead of letting it go, she proceeded to ask if I had ever been intimate with anyone. I said no, and walked away from her.

Later that evening, my cousin asked me to take Ama to our aunt’s house, where they would spend the night. We took a taxi, and on the way, she asked why my thing was up. It wasn’t true but she insisted on seeing for herself. I didn’t let her.

We got to the house, and I showed her the room, only for her to insist on seeing if I was hard for her. I ended up having my first sexual experience with her. It was so intense that I thought about it all night. The next day, we did it again.

After the funeral, we kept seeing each other. I’d visit her house and we would have fun. At the time, it didn’t feel serious. I thought it would end soon but even when I turned 22, and got a girlfriend, Ama was still in the picture. 

Because of this, I wasn’t committed to the relationship. It was hard to see my girlfriend regularly. I rather spent all my time with Ama. Everything was easier with her. She lived nearby, and there was no drama. The icing on the cake was that she gave me whatever I wanted.

Even after university, things didn’t change. Ama had been in other serious relationships, but she still called me whenever she wanted company. One day she said, “I’m addicted to you. You know how to handle me.” And maybe she was right. I couldn’t seem to stay in a real relationship either. Her presence made it hard. She even broke up one of my relationships out of jealousy, but I didn’t care.

When I was 27, she helped me get a good job. I started doing well. That was when she got pregnant. She was 38 then. It wasn’t her pregnancy, but this time around, she didn’t want to get rid of it. 

“I’m getting older,” she said. “I think it’s time I have a baby. I want to keep this one.”

I didn’t like the idea. I was worried about the age gap and the judgment. She didn’t care though. She told my cousin everything.

My cousin was stunned. She never imagined anything had happened between us. She wasn’t happy with us. She even told Ama that she didn’t support the pregnancy. So it was terminated.

After the dust settled, Ama and I continued dating. Somewhere along the line, I fell in love with her. It wasn’t a loud kind of love. It was calm. Familiar. Safe. She gave me peace.

Now I’m thirty-six. She’s forty-seven. I want to settle down, but nothing works out. Every woman I meet falls short. Not because they’re lacking, but because they’re not her. The only reason I haven’t gone public with my relationship with her is because of the age difference between us. I am worried that society will judge us.

My Wife Has The Spiritual Powers To Detect Cheating

Sometimes I wonder if I should push past all my reservations and just marry her. When I talk to my cousin about this, she tells me, “No, you can’t marry her. Our family will never accept it. They will say she is too old for this, and you know this already.”

I know she is not lying, but Ama gives me peace. We are both mature now. Financially, we are fine. Her business is thriving. I’m also doing well in my career. We don’t owe anyone explanations. Yet I can’t get past the barrier of what people would say. Do I really need to marry another woman? Or is my secret relationship with Ama enough for me?

—Uncle Fii

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB