Growing up as a teenager, people always talked about my legs—specifically my anantuo. I had big calves, and the way people often pointed them out made me feel conscious about my body. I couldn’t tell whether they meant to compliment me or tease me.

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I often looked at my legs in the mirror and asked myself why God didn’t give me slim ones. I envied girls with slender legs, and this made me timid. I hated walking in front of large groups of people. I imagined they were whispering about my legs. I imagined them saying things like, “Slim lady with thick legs.”

When I got posted to work, I met Oliver. We worked at the same place. At first, I didn’t like him. He was too outspoken, and too much of an extrovert, while I was his complete opposite. I turned him down countless times, but he never gave up.

What changed everything was the day he touched my legs and said, “Your legs are very beautiful.” I was shocked. The one thing I disliked most about my body was exactly what he admired. Slowly, I began to soften toward him. His compliment emboldened me to start rocking my legs with pride.

As our relationship grew, I noticed something about him too: he was always in trousers. Even when I visited him, I never once saw his legs. One day, during a conversation after work, he confessed that back in high school his friends used to tease him about his small legs.

“Because of them, I vowed never to leave my legs bare again.”

I had to agree to enter his room before he showed me his legs. I realised it was true—his legs were small. But considering his stature, they looked fine. We laughed about it together, especially because his legs, though he is chocolate-skinned, were a lighter shade from always being covered.

By and by, I fell in love with him. The way he loved and respected me was enough to win my heart. He’s nearly nine years older than me, yet he treats me like an equal.

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After six years of marriage, he still never leaves his legs bare. I used to encourage him to wear shorts at least around the house, but he always shook his head and said, “Someone may come in unexpectedly and see me.”

Even on our porch, he stays in trousers. He only wears shorts in our bedroom. It’s not exactly what I hoped for but I will take it as a win. I tell myself he is comfortable showing his legs around me because I am a safe space for him. So I’ve stopped pushing him to embrace his legs publicly.

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My husband’s experience has shaped how I relate to others, especially as an educator in a secondary school. I am deeply concerned about body shaming. I remember once asking a male student to apologise to a female student after he made a rude remark about her buttocks while she was solving a problem on the board.

I believe if my husband, in his late forties, still struggles with the trauma of being teased in high school, then we need to do better with our children. As parents, guardians, and teachers, we must teach children early in life to respect others and their bodies.

—Rinny 

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