I am currently in the talking stage with three women, and honestly, it feels like trying to solve a crossword puzzle with missing clues. Confusing, mentally exhausting, yet strangely interesting at the same time.

I have a stable job and I feel this is the right time in my life to settle down with one serious woman, someone I can intentionally date and possibly marry in the future. I have been talking to all three of them for a while now, and the more I get to know them, the harder it becomes to make a decision because each of them is beautiful in her own way, and like every human being, each also comes with her own flaws.

Linda is 25 and will be turning 26 in a few days. She is an entrepreneur and also holds a diploma in midwifery. She is kind, humble, submissive, caring and genuinely peaceful to be around. Physically, she is chubby, what most people would call “obolo,” and even though that is not exactly the body type I always pictured for my future wife, I cannot lie, her personality keeps pulling me back to her every single time.

There is something calming about her presence that is difficult to explain. What makes me respect her even more is the fact that she is not desperate for marriage. She wants to build something meaningful for herself before settling down, and honestly, that mindset makes me see her as a woman who would not lose herself completely in a marriage.

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Barbara is 22 and will be turning 23 soon. She is also an entrepreneur and currently doing her rotation as a student nurse. Physically, this woman is temptation itself. She has the exact body I have always fantasized about in a partner, busty, curvy and extremely attractive. Anytime we go out together, heads turn, and I would be lying if I said I do not enjoy that attention.

Beyond her looks, she is hardworking and caring too, but the issue with her is that everything with her feels intense. My biggest issue with her is how eager she is to settle down quickly because, at this stage of my life, I still feel like rushing into marriage would be a mistake.

She is also very quick-tempered and can become dramatic over the smallest things, like questioning why I did not text her good morning when I woke up, even though she texted first and I replied almost immediately. Sometimes she talks and goes overboard to the point where I wonder if I would be able to handle that long term without becoming emotionally exhausted.

And then there is Monica. Honestly, this woman confuses my heart the most. She is 26 and will be turning 27 in a few months. She graduated with first class honors from one of the best universities in Ghana. Currently unemployed and searching for work. She is beautiful, intelligent and carries herself with so much grace that sometimes I forget she is struggling. Out of all three women, she is the one I connect with the deepest emotionally and intellectually. Conversations with her never feel forced.

With her, I feel companionship and the attraction, too. But my greatest fear is that love may blind me into ignoring reality. What if years pass and I become the only one carrying the financial burden of our home? What if the pressure of paying every bill slowly turns love into resentment? I am terrified of waking up one day feeling trapped by responsibility instead of fulfilled by partnership because no matter how deep love is, financial pressure has destroyed even stronger marriages.

The painful truth is that I genuinely like all three women, and maybe that is what makes me feel guilty sometimes because none of them are bad people. They are all amazing in different ways, and each one gives me something the others cannot completely replace. One gives me peace, another gives me passion, and the last gives me depth. So how does a man choose? Regardless of who I eventually choose, I would still like to remain friends with the others, even if it is from a distance.

Men Don’t Like It When Women Do The Paying

Maybe I sound selfish, confused or even greedy, but this is honestly where I am mentally. I know a man cannot have it all, and eventually I will have to make a choice, but right now my heart feels stretched in three different directions and I am scared of choosing wrong, because marriage is not something you gamble with and restart when it fails.

—Baidoo

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