I signed up on Tinder somewhere last year but I never engaged anyone on the app. I was just there out of curiosity. I didn’t have time to check out profiles or send messages to people. It got to a time I even forgot about the app. So I was surprised when I received a message notification from the app on 23rd December. I remember that date because it was the beginning of everything. I asked myself, “How come? Did I mistakenly match with him?” I couldn’t remember how or when but there he was sending me a message that day.

His name is Marcus. He sent “Hi” and I responded with a hi too. We exchanged a few pleasantries here and there and then he asked, “Can we take the conversation off the app?”  I responded, “Sure, why not?” He then requested my WhatsApp number and I gave it to him. He texted me three days after. As we continued to talk, it came up that we lived in the same neighbourhood. “Maybe you know me,” he said, as he sent me his photo. I took a good look at the photo and told him, “I am sorry, you don’t look familiar to me. I am sure it is because I don’t go out often. I am always indoors.” We both made jokes about it and laughed.

In the days that followed, we texted and spoke on the phone. He visited his dad for Christmas, and I was also busy taking care of my sister’s children who were with us during the holidays. Because of this, we couldn’t meet in December. It was in January that we managed to meet for the first time. He looked exactly as he did in the photo he sent me, and that made me very happy. We talked. I showed him where I live; he bought me ice cream and then asked that I order a bolt for him. He said he had to go deliver some documents at Circle.

From that night, he always came to stand in front of my house whenever he wanted to see me. I would go and meet him and we would go for a walk. We talked about a lot of things. He told me about how his previous relationship ended. It was because he was always busy and couldn’t get time for his ex. We even talked about our sex lives and made jokes about it. Then the following week, he attended his cousin’s wedding. My phone screen got spoilt while he was away so we couldn’t talk for two days. We spoke when I finally got a yam phone, and he offered to pay for me to fix my smartphone’s screen.

By the time he returned from the wedding, my phone was fixed. He came to see me that day, and we went for our usual walk. While we were returning from the walk he blurted out; “I love you.” In response, I said, “I want to introduce you to my mother.” It was the best thing I could say because I felt it was too soon for me to tell him I love him. Besides, my mother is my best friend. I don’t hide anything from her. So I was ready to introduce Marcus to her. However, when we got to our house my mum had a visitor so I couldn’t make the introductions.

READ MORE: The Love We Found At The Tail End Of Our Marriages

Before he left he asked, “Can I hug you?” I answered by wrapping my hands around him in an intimate embrace. Somehow, we both got carried away by our emotions and ended up kissing right there in the open. There was never a dull moment with Marcus. He didn’t talk a lot but the few words he spoke always made me feel special. He was also generous. I let it slip through a conversation that I borrowed airtime from MTN and didn’t pay it back. Immediately, he sent me GHC50 to pay my debts. Apart from that, whenever we met he would ask me, “Nana, are you okay? Do you need anything? Don’t hesitate to ask me for whatever you need.” I am always touched by his kindness but I shake my head and say, “No, I don’t need anything. Thanks for asking.”

The day he told me about his work, I was quite sad. He is a seaman. He said he spends nine to ten months at sea every year. I have seen videos of him loading containers at work. And I have seen photos of his family, but I haven’t met them. It broke my heart that he will be gone for so long and I will be left here alone but I had to accept it. About a week ago, he got sick with malaria. I decided to visit him and take care of him even though he said he was feeling fine. It was the first time I was going to his place, and his brother was not at home.

The plan was to spend time with him, but we were two lovers in a confined space together. We ended up having shuperu. Before it happened, he told me, “I don’t want you to do this if you don’t want to. The last thing I want is for you to end up with regrets.” I told him I wanted to do it, so we did it. After the act, he gave me GHC100 to buy the post-pill. I took it and bought Lydia contraceptives. When I got home I couldn’t tell my mother what I had done. I started feeling like an easy-f**k because I believed it was too soon in our relationship for shuperu. To make matters worse, he didn’t come and see me that night. I called him to complain, “So now that you’ve gotten what you want you won’t come and visit me?” “Is that what you think of me?” he asked, “You think I came after you just because I want to eat? That’s sad.”

He came to see me the next day, and he was quiet the entire time he was with me. I kept asking him a lot of questions to get him to talk, but he didn’t seem to be paying attention to me. When I complained, he said he was waiting for an email from work. When we parted ways that night, I texted him, “You’ve been behaving differently since we slept together.” He replied with a voice note saying, “You are a nice girl, and I am with you because you are good for me. But I regret sleeping with you. It has made you too emotional and unnecessarily clingy. You are going about reading meaning into things that have no meaning. It’s a shame you are not patient enough to get to know me.”

What Women Do When They Are No Longer Interested In You–Beads Media

The next day we both apologized to each other and carried on with the relationship. He calls me to check up on me every day but I feel the vibe between us has gone down. I visited him just this past Friday, and we didn’t talk much. Nothing happened between us either. All he asked me was if I needed anything. I asked him, “How is it that we talk about a lot of things but you’ve never asked about anything concerning my life? You don’t ask about my job or my education. You said I am not patient enough to know you, but it looks like you don’t want to know me either.” He looked at me, sighed, and said nothing.

He will be going to sea in the next two weeks, but there is already a strain on the relationship. I am thinking I should walk away from him now before things get too far. I already feel ashamed for sleeping with him. Should I just call things off and be free?

-Nana

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB