I was the one who cheated. He was the one who stayed even when I thought I didn’t deserve any forgiveness. He said we could talk. He told me he would take part of the blame because he hadn’t been close enough. He had left the relationship on autopilot, believing everything would work out from there.

I listened to him lie to himself. All the reasons he mentioned weren’t the reasons I cheated. I was only having fun, exploring my youth to see what was out there for me. The guy I cheated with was a fraud boy. He opened doors I could only imagine existed. I fell for the glamour and his ability to take me to places my boyfriend couldn’t.

I didn’t tell him why I cheated, but he forgave me. The ease with which he forgave me was suspicious, so I never slept with both eyes closed. He became overly sweet. All of a sudden, he was doing what he never did just to impress me. I loved him, but I was scared.

I stopped seeing the fraud boy. I was committed to the relationship and decided to give it my all. A year passed, and we were back to normal. And then he proposed marriage. “It’s been four years. Isn’t it about time we got married?”

I was twenty-nine and ready for marriage, but something told me it would be a bad idea to marry a man who had once caught me cheating. So I gave him excuses. I later told him my parents didn’t like his tribe, so marriage would be hard. We finally broke up in January. It was hard, but something in me said this man would change after marriage.

Men don’t forgive cheating, I was told. I was also told that even if they forgave, either they themselves were cheating or, in the future, they would pull your cheating file from the archives when you caught them cheating. It was better for me to start afresh than stay and regret it someday.

We are both single. He tried to reconnect, but I cut him off before the old flames could rekindle. I still don’t know if I did the right thing, but what I know is that I’ll never cheat again in the next one. It’s not worth it. It turns green grass brown and wilts blossoming flowers.

#IStayedAfterTheyCheated

—Doris     

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