We met in a church where he was a young pastor. When he preached, you could see the heart of God, and when he prayed, you could feel the anointing on him. When he started drawing close to me, I told him I didn’t like pastors. When he asked why, I couldn’t tell him the reason. I was not prepared to become the mother of a church when I needed a mother myself.

He used humour and attention to draw me to himself but one day, he got serious. He told me the reason he wasn’t moving up the ranks of pastorship was because he wasn’t married. Until he found his missing rib, he would remain a junior pastor, so I should understand and marry him to solidify his place in God. I said yes, and we started dating.

Just three months after saying yes, he came to see my family and took the dowry list. We later got married, and I moved in with him. I was the one taking care of the house while he supported us with the little that the church gave him.

READ ALSO: The Man I Cheated On Still Wanted to Marry Me

Our marriage was only a few months old when he told me he wanted to start his own church. God had been pressuring him to start a new church and lead the flock back to Him. He didn’t want to end up being Jonah, so I should understand and support him.

We started with evangelism, and when we got about ten people, we started a church in a classroom. We went on evangelism on Fridays and Saturdays so those we were able to convince would join us in church on Sunday.

There was a house my husband spent a lot of time in, praying with them and giving them directions as the Spirit gave him. They didn’t come to our church, but he was there often. They were a family of about six people.

Two ladies from that house joined, and when they joined, they brought their friends. One of the friends they brought was Sophia. The lady was barely a month old in the church when my husband appointed her as his secretary. I asked, “What do you need a secretary for? And why her?”

He said it was the directive of the Holy Spirit. To be honest, Sophia took her role seriously. She planned the route for evangelism and, after church, decided who could speak to my husband. I didn’t like the appointment, but I loved her work so much that we became friends.

One day after service, he called to tell me he would visit a family who had been afflicted with sickness and pray for them, so he would come home late. I told him to call me when he was ready to come home.

Late in the evening, he was still not home. I called his line, and he didn’t pick up. I called again, and Sophia picked up the phone and told me Pastor was praying with the family, so she would make him call me afterwards.

That didn’t land well. I didn’t hear his voice in the background praying, and the place was also too silent for it to be a place where a family had gathered. So I moved to the church premises, and my husband wasn’t there. I went to the house where he said they were afflicted, and again, he wasn’t there.

I went to Sophia’s house and saw her in the compound with a cloth covering her chest. Immediately she saw me, she quickly walked into her room and pretended she didn’t see me. I went to knock, and she came out wearing a T-shirt over a pair of short knickers. I asked where my husband was, and she told me she had parted ways with him after the prayers, so she wouldn’t know where he was.

When you lie, something tries very hard to give you away. It was the way she was protecting her door and trying very hard not to open it wider than she’d already done. I told her I had walked for so long and was tired, so she should at least give me a place to sit. She said she was on her way out and couldn’t stay another second.

“My husband is in your room. Tell him to come out.”

Her voice got louder, and mine also got louder. A co-tenant, a lady, came out to ask what was going on, but she kept winking at me suggestively, indicating that my husband was indeed in there. The exchange became so loud that a few people came to gather there. It was my husband I was embarrassing, so I left.

They thought I’d gone, so he came out later, only to see me standing there watching him. I held his hand and pulled him along. When we got home, I gave it to him properly. I called out his lies and told him it was God who led me there. My husband confessed that something had gone on, but they hadn’t had sex. I knew he was lying. I told him that as far as he was willing to cut her off, I was fine.

Sophia didn’t attend the church again. We went to his godfather for prayers and counselling, and through that, I learned to forgive. Just six months later, Sophia was pregnant by my husband. We were not pregnant because my husband had told me to wait until the church was firmly established before we brought in a child.

Sophia had the audacity to come to our house with an elderly man to break the news to us. I jumped on her, nearly strangling the life out of her. She kept shouting, “If you were woman enough, why didn’t you give him a child? Do you even have a womb?”

In our house, this lady had the courage to shame me in my own house in the presence of my husband, who stood there and said nothing. Right there, my husband accepted responsibility and told her, “It doesn’t mean you have to come here and disrespect my wife. Just go. We’ll talk about it.”

When they stepped out, I pushed him to follow them. I paid the rent. I was the one taking care of the house so he could focus on building the church. I locked the door and threatened to let the world know who he was if he didn’t leave.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

He came back to pick up a few things. I screamed, “What do you own that actually belongs to you? I bought everything. You can’t pick a pin from here.”

He left and sent emissaries to come and talk to me to at least give him his things. I never did. Today, that church has collapsed totally. I learned he’s in Sunyani struggling to start a new one using fake prophecies and directions. Sophia is still here with their baby. You should see her now, looking like she hasn’t eaten for years.

It’s all my fault. I knew pastors were not good for me, yet I fell for this one. I’ve learned. I’ve grown. It’s the reason this new one is working for my good.

#IStayedAfterTheyCheated

—Doreen     

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