It took him a while to ask for my number after meeting him online. When he finally did, we started chatting endlessly, and over time, our conversations grew stronger. In the beginning, I wasn’t physically attracted to him, but when we finally met in person, something about him excited me.

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Looking back, I realize he might have been love-bombing me, but at the time, I didn’t see it that way. I just thought, “Yay, someone is this excited about me.”

We were two months in, and I started noticing red flags, but I decided to ignore them because I wanted to “give love another chance.” Four months later, reality has hit. I’m not truly happy. I don’t think I ever really liked him, and now it’s catching up with me.

At first, I thought he was the cleanest guy I’d ever met. But lately, his space goes uncleaned for days, and there’s a lingering smell. Sometimes he heads to work without freshening up properly, and even his car has picked up the same scent. Our intimacy doesn’t connect anymore. There are moments that are okay, but sometimes the way he touches or kisses me feels off, and I lose all interest.

I was initially drawn to his big build, but now he’s gained even more weight, doesn’t take care of himself, and often complains of being tired after eating and sleeping for hours. He lives with his family, which makes spending time together less comfortable. They influence many of his decisions, and often, he prioritizes them and his friends over me.

I can’t have deep conversations with him. We have different interests, and his emotional intelligence isn’t up there. When problems come up, he waits for me to address them, says “sorry,” and carries on like nothing happened. Lately, everything about him irritates me. His jokes, his calls, even his visits—they no longer bring me joy. I get irritated.

It’s not that he’s all bad. He compliments me often. He helps me financially when he can. He tries, in his own way, to make me happy. But he often doesn’t take things seriously unless they matter to him. There was a recent situation where he put me in a very risky position, that was my breaking point. Since then, I’ve pulled back emotionally.

And then, there was the moment he said we should have a child “to make sure my womb works.” After that conversation, I haven’t looked at him the same since.

How The Death Of Our Son Nearly Brought Our Marriage To An End

Now, I’m faced with a decision. I don’t want to string him along, but ending things without creating unnecessary drama feels impossible. And knowing myself, I’m afraid I’m going to stay in this relationship until it drains all of me.

—Doris

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