He told me he had a son when we started dating. He said he was three years old and was very much involved with his upbringing. I asked why he didn’t marry the mother, and he said it was a long story.

Here’s the abridged version of the long story. The lady is Wendy. Wendy’s parents wanted her to marry a guy from abroad, so they didn’t like to see Eric around. From the story Eric narrated, he was so much involved with Wendy he didn’t want to let go, hoping his never-give-up spirit would melt the hearts of Wendy’s parents.

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When the abroad guy came to Ghana, Wendy met him and later told Eric she didn’t like the guy by any stretch of the imagination. According to Eric, that statement strengthened him to push to win the hearts of Wendy’s parents, but everything he did met resistance.

And then Wendy got pregnant. According to Eric, he was so happy he thought that was God’s way of telling Wendy’s parents to accept him into their family, but the parents continued to say no and at one point convinced Wendy to abort.

Their relationship hit the biggest rock when Wendy gave birth and Eric and his parents went there to name the child. Wendy’s parents were so hostile to the point Eric’s father got up and left.

It was that disrespect to Eric’s dad that made Eric finally decide the relationship was over. He cut the cord but decided to take care of the child regardless because it was his own blood.

When Eric narrated this story to me, I said no to his proposal. I told him, “Clearly, I’m not the one you love. You’re here because you couldn’t get Wendy. What if Wendy’s parents change their mind right now, what would you do?” His answer was emphatic: “I’ve moved on. There’s no going back.”

It was never my intention to marry a man who had a child, but Eric was different. Even the way he cared for his son made me believe he would be a good father to our kids. When he agreed to setting boundaries between himself and Wendy, I said yes to his proposal.

We dated for two years before I saw his son. By then he was five years old. I don’t know what came over me that day, but my spirit said, “No, this can’t be Eric’s child. Something is wrong somewhere.”

I couldn’t name anything to back my doubt, but my intuition was that loud. So loud I had a dream where Wendy was confessing that the child belonged to another man. I didn’t say anything to Eric about the prompts of my intuition. He loved his son too much, and I didn’t also want him to label me as jealous.

When we were getting close to marriage, I asked Eric, “So what happened between Wendy and the abroad guy once you left the scene?” He was shocked I asked that. He asked why I was thinking about Wendy, and I answered, “I’m putting one and one together. Have you ever thought of doing a DNA test on your son?”

He still didn’t get it. He asked if I was saying the child wasn’t his. I answered, “Everything is possible. I’ve had several dreams that he isn’t yours. My dreams don’t lie.”

He swept it under the rug, but I wasn’t going to let it go. When we got married, Wendy started using the child to get between us. She could even come to our house with the child, saying she was coming from the hospital and she needed money to go back home.

Twenty-four-seven, this woman wouldn’t let my husband breathe. So I pushed for the DNA. I even told him I was going to pay for everything. He said, “I will tell Wendy and see what she will say.” I shouted, “Why do you have to tell her? Just get the child and let’s do it secretly.”

We did the test, and Eric wasn’t the father. He was holding the paper and his hands were shaking. I was so happy, but I couldn’t let it show. I tried consoling him, telling him to relax and think of the way forward. He said, “This can’t be true. I know Wendy. She can’t do this to me.” I asked, “So you mean the DNA is wrong? Do you want to do it again to verify?” He answered, “No need to.”

As I write this, it’s been five months since we had the results, but Wendy is not aware because my husband has refused to tell her. He continues taking care of the child, sending monthly allowances, and receiving calls from Wendy concerning the same child that is not his.

My heart is aching thinking about what this man I call husband is doing. What’s the better vindication than this? He tells me, “This is not the right time to do this. Leave it to me. I will handle things at the right time.”

“When is the right time?” I ask. He tells me, “Just leave that one to me.”

Five good months, and my husband is not doing anything about it. I’m also careful because I don’t want this to escalate to a situation where it will affect my marriage. I’ve spoken to my mom about it, but I’ve asked her to remain low-key about it so my dad doesn’t hear. Even if he hears, I don’t know what he can do about it since the man the whole issue affects is not doing anything about it.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

This is an issue I don’t want to enter 2025 with. I want it resolved today and now. Do I go out of my way and tell Wendy what we’ve discovered and sit back and enjoy the drama? Will that hurt my marriage before the dust settles?

Honestly, we are in a good place as a couple. We don’t fight or quarrel. I don’t want to affect that aura in our home, but the question is, how do I get closure on this matter?

—Jane

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