He was trying to send money to his dad and realized he didn’t have enough on his mobile wallet. He called out, “Babe, do you have money on your phone? I need like GHC1,000 ASAP.”

I showed him where I had placed my phone, and he went for it. He called out again, “Your PIN.” I screamed back, “The day and month we went on our first-ever date.”

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My husband is so bad when it comes to keeping passwords in his head. That wasn’t the first time he had asked for my PIN, but each time I tell him, he forgets. I figured making it one of the anniversaries of our lives would make him remember. He asked, “What kind of mid-sem exams is that? Are you going to tell me or not?”

“It was a Saturday. It rained so heavily the date nearly didn’t happen, remember? When you sat down, you asked what today’s date was. When I told you, you said it was your aunt’s birthday and you forgot to wish her.”

He chuckled and restarted the whole process again. He didn’t ask for it this time. He sent the money and threw my phone at me.

Many weeks later, I was at the ATM holding his card in my hand. I texted him to send me the code because I’d forgotten. He said, “Oh, so you can also forget? The day and month of our first sex.”

Unlike him, I hardly forget dates, especially milestones. That day was very easy for me to remember because it was our honeymoon. We weren’t intimate while dating. We kept it until marriage. I could write a play of how everything happened that day, so how could I forget the date it happened?

I confidently inserted the card and punched in the numbers. The machine said it was the wrong PIN. I did it again, this time carefully and very focused. Again, it was wrong. I only had one attempt left before the machine would swallow the card. I texted him; he wasn’t online. I called, “Why are you lying? Or have you forgotten your own password again?”

He replied, “1.2.0.4. It was the first day you visited my house. Short white skirt with a black tight T-shirt. We’d promised not to do it until marriage, but I didn’t promise you I wouldn’t do it in my imagination. So yes, that was the first time for me. I wonder why you didn’t get pregnant.”

I was withdrawing the money and laughing like I’d lost my mind. I remember that day very clearly. I was scared something might happen, so I hesitated before visiting. I struggled to sit in a way that pleased the Lord because my skirt was so short. I could see hunger in his eyes when our eyes met, but he played it cool. From there, I could let myself go and be comfortable around him.

So now whenever I’m forming a password, I think about the dates of our lives. When the computer reminds me that my password isn’t strong, I say in my head, “It’s stronger in our lives because of how far we’ve come.” When it asks me to add more characters, I still choose characters that bring back memories.

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Our lives are a series of dates. We met in time and moments, and these moments refined us. Even when they threatened to break us apart, they ended up molding us into who we’ve become now. Love, kisses, tears, childbirth, death—it all happens on dates, and they make us who we are.

—Nora

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