If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

Days after we called off the wedding, the pressure that came on me was so huge I had to run and hide. I had to turn my phone off and stay quiet until everything died down. Everyone who called asked the same question; “Why?” I wasn’t ready to go into details of how I found beads and panties. I wasn’t ready to be taken through the emotions I went through all over again. Those I could talk to, I told them, “It’s for the best.” Those who insisted to know the truth, I told them, “Someday when I get the strength, I would talk about it.” They understood me and let me be. But not my parents and his parents. They were on me 24/7 asking what happened. I don’t know what he told his parents but as time went on, they stopped calling to ask why. 

One day I told my parents, “I found out there was another girl in his life.” My mom said, “Is that reason enough to call off a whole wedding? The two of you could have sat down and settled it. Why would you sit and take such a decision all alone?” My dad would be eyeing me from the corners of his eyes, sniffing around for more concrete evidence than what I was saying. 

Jemima broke into my defenses one day and I told her everything. She was my closest friend. The maid of honor if my wedding happened. She blamed me for being quick-tempered. “Doreen, you made a mistake. Men don’t come around often, especially those who would want to settle with you. No matter what the problem was or is, I believe you guys could have handled it better than you did.”

I asked, “If you have evidence that your fiancé had slept with 54 women, would you go ahead and marry him?” She said, ”But that’s in the past?” I said, “Eleven out of the fifty-four, the affair happened while you were together. Would you still go ahead and marry him?” “It depends,” She answered. “If the evidence is solid enough then I would think twice about it.” I said, “The evidence was in the collection of panties and beads he collected from those women. Seventeen different beads. Thirty-seven different panties with dates on them.” She exclaimed, “You saw these things with your own eyes?” I answered, “I counted them with my own fingers.” 

She screamed, “Really? and what did he say about it?” “He said he was sorry so I should forgive him. I gave him several days to come up with a better explanation but that was all he could say. You still think I should have gone ahead with the marriage?” She screamed, “Hell no! I wouldn’t. No woman would do that. You did the right thing. I’m sorry if I judged you wrongly. I didn’t know the details.” I said, “It’s my fault. Even my parents don’t know this. They are different. They belong to a different generation so they see things differently. If I had told them, they would have taken it on a higher level than I’m doing now. That’s why I’m keeping everything to myself until someday.”

Regardless of my convictions, sometimes I felt I made a mistake. “I should have given him a second chance. People change. Life is not serious like that. I really made a mistake by calling it off.” My thoughts were all over the place. I wanted to pick up the phone and say sorry to him and beg him to take me back but each time I got to the point where I had to call him, something would pull me back and say, “Remember what you’ve been through.” Gilbert wasn’t a bad person, trust me. If I didn’t see those relics of his past dealings, he would have been the perfect guy in my eyes. It was the reason I was still thinking of him, I thought. Or maybe I thought I’d blown away a chance of a lifetime. The feeling came on weekends when I was alone and lonely, so each weekend, I would pack my bag and go to my parents. On weekdays, I had work to go to so my mind was too occupied to think of such things.

One weekend I followed my mom to a funeral in our hometown. I hadn’t been in my hometown for ages because my mom said there were witches and wizards there who would destroy me if I go there. She went there often but she never took me along until I insisted to attend that funeral with her. She gave me rules, “Don’t shake hands with anyone. Tell them you have covid. Don’t ever remove your mask when you’re outside and when anyone asks you to give them money, tell them you don’t have money on you. Not even a pesewa.”

We got to the village late Friday evening. We attended the funeral and burial services on Saturday and attended thanksgiving on Sunday. There was this woman in the house who went to church with us that Sunday and came back in the same taxi with us. She sat next to me. The distance from the church to our house was like fifteen minutes but this woman managed to sleep until we got home. When we were leaving on Sunday the woman called my mom on the side and told her something. When my mom was coming she was very upset and talking to herself: “Witches. If you have eyes use them to better your own lives. Mtcheew.”

When we sat in the car she told me what the woman said. “She said there’s a shadow behind you. It looks like a man. If we don’t do anything about it, it would be difficult for you to marry.” My mom was still angry but I was thinking about the whole thing critically. “A shadow? A man? Difficult for me to marry?” My mom’s voice broke into my thoughts, “Maybe she doesn’t know. I should have told her that you were close to getting married a few months ago. It’s also your fault. Why won’t they see shadows when you’re not married at your age?”

I was quiet throughout the journey. Somehow I believed what the woman was saying. “Other than that why was my beads not part of the collection of beads I saw in the box. Did he use it to do something? What if he did?” So I told my parents the whole truth. My mother jumped out of her seat and exclaimed, “You’re very stupid. Is this something you have to hide from us? Do you know what he can do with it now that the marriage didn’t come on? You children of today think we are stupid because we are old.” My dad simply said, “He kept those ones you saw for years so he should be able to keep yours too. Go back to him and collect it. If he plays hard, we would invite his family.”

I passed by his place one evening after work. When I knocked and he came out, he was shocked to see me. He was in there with someone. I didn’t see who that person was. That wasn’t my interest. We stood in front of his door and had a discussion. “I’m coming for my beads. The one I gave you at the initial stages of our relationship.” He asked, “Is anything the matter?” I said, “No. Nothing. I feel like you still have what belongs to me and I’m not comfortable with that so kindly give it back. He was in the mood to have a conversation but because he had someone waiting for him, he was jumpy. He said, “Can you come back tomorrow? We will talk.” 

The next day I was there. He wanted me inside but I preferred outside. He went into a very long monologue, talking about his regrets, giving his life to Christ after that incident, and how he had vowed never to go into that life again. I told him, “I’m happy for you but that’s not the reason I’m here. I came for my beads.” “When I narrated my problem to the pastor, he asked me to burn all the things or else the spirits of the women would pursue my destiny and destroy it. So I came home and burnt everything. Yours included,” he told me. 

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I didn’t believe him. I argued, “Mine wasn’t in the collection the last time I checked so how were you able to burn it with the collection?” He answered, “It was in my wallet because I was still with you. But once we got to where we got to, I destroyed everything.” My dad called him and he told him the same story. My mom called him and told him what the woman said. My dad called his dad. My mom called his mom. There was a family meeting. He maintained his stand; “I’d burned them all. I swear.” My mom calmly told him and his family; “The woman who saw the shadow behind my daughter can be very destructive if we leave everything in her hands. Don’t let us get there. If you’ve burned it, fine. If you haven’t, you have up to Saturday to return it before we go and see the woman again.”

The following day he sent me a text, “Where can I see you? It’s here.” I said, “Pass by my office. I would be waiting for you.” His eyes were down when he stretched his arms to give me the beads. He was leaving when I said, “Please wait let me check if it’s the one.” He didn’t wait. He kept going until I opened the envelope and checked. I sent him a text; “Whatever your intentions against me, I forgive you. If I follow what my heart is telling me, I would return fire for fire but it’s not worth it. Change your life before it destroys you.” He responded, “I’ve given you what you want so what are the threats for?” 

We went to the village that Saturday and gave the beads to the woman. She said, ”Oh you have it. Then go home. you’re free. Nothing to fear. The clouds are gone.” My mom asked, “Is that all? We don’t have to do anything? She said, “No you don’t have to. Once you’ve taken what is yours back, there’s nothing to fear.” She handed back the beads to me and said, “Destroy it when you get home. It’s all well.”

So I’m here. I don’t know if it worked or it didn’t work. I don’t have a boyfriend now and there’s no one coming in. Sometimes I’m scared a little. The what-ifs are too many but she said all is well so I’m believing her. But until I get a boyfriend and later walked the aisle, I’ll still have that niggling fear. I pray too. I tell God often to intervene so I believe all is well.  

—Doreen

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