My husband and I share a secret no one else knows. It was a promise I made to keep quiet over something sensitive about him. I don’t want to break that promise but he and his family have pushed my back against the wall. It appears my only way out is to tell the truth. If I do, it will rock his family and change our children’s lives forever. It’s the only reason I am taking my time before taking any action.

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We were purely platonic friends before he proposed marriage to me. When I said yes, we started making preparations for our marriage almost immediately. After two years of friendship, I felt I knew him enough. So we didn’t waste time.

The first time we got intimate was within the confines of marriage. Even that one took time. On our wedding night, his excuse was that he was too tired. When the honeymoon was over, his excuse became, “I have a lot of work on my plate. I can’t think of doing anything else.”

This man kept shying away from his conjugal responsibilities until I kept asking if he was okay. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

That was when he confessed that he had only one testicle. I didn’t know what it meant but he explained that it worked. He could get it up. Regardless, his caginess around the subject made me distrust him. So I insisted he get a thorough medical check, if not I would leave him.

We discovered that apart from his one-ball situation, he had a low sperm count. So although he could get his joystick up and put it to use, he couldn’t impregnate a woman.

I was devastated. I cried bitterly as my heart broke at his betrayal. I kept wondering if he already knew his condition without telling me. In my heartbreak, he made me promise not to leave him or tell anyone about his situation. He even told me, “If the time comes when you want a child badly, tell me. I will give you permission to go outside the marriage and get pregnant.”

Not long after, I reconnected with one of my exes who had just returned to town and was still single. We started dating again. He was very caring and even helped to restock the business my husband had opened for me.

I kept the relationship extremely secret from my husband. He also didn’t suspect a thing as I continued to act like a loyal, understanding, and caring wife. Six months into rekindling things with my ex, I became pregnant. I had been married for three years at this point.

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When I told my husband I was pregnant, he didn’t even question, “Is it mine?” He was overjoyed. Because of his low literacy level, he easily assumed it was a miracle. When I gave birth to a baby girl, he threw a lavish party to celebrate his fatherhood.

Within the ten years of marriage, I had two more children — a boy from the same ex, and later, another girl from a different man. Through it all, I managed to keep everything hidden. Not even my closest friends, my husband, or the men involved ever suspected the truth.

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Two months ago, my marriage hit the rocks. His attitude became unbearable. He was nasty toward me and snuck around doing God knows what. We argued constantly because of this. One day, he travelled without informing me. Then his relatives came and locked me out of the house. They told me their brother said the marriage was over.

They took the kids away from me and have since denied me access to them. Now I’m torn. I’m tempted to tell them that the children are not his, so I can have my children back. The only thing holding me back is the promise I made to my husband not to reveal that he is not fertile. How should I handle this?

—Beauty

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