I liked her from the very first day I met her at my former workplace. I wouldn’t say there was anything dramatic about the way I felt. No sudden rush of nerves or butterflies fluttering in my tummy, or sparks flying in invisible directions. Just a quiet and peaceful feeling in my soul that told me that she is the one. That’s how I know what I feel for her is not an infatuation. My feelings are real.

I have been trying to persuade her to reciprocate my feelings for some months now. We started slowly. I wanted her to get to know her better while also giving her the chance to see for herself that my intentions toward her are honorable. 

Conversations between us always flowed easily. She has this way of seeing the world that I find adorable. Based on everything I have known about her thus far, I know she is a kind person. She is hardworking and respectful too. Everything about her is what I want in the woman I want to build a life with. When I told her this, she answered, “I like you too, but I am not ready for a relationship.”

I didn’t pressure her. I let her know I would wait for her till she was ready. So we continued our friendship until two months ago. By then, I felt I had waited long enough. So I brought up the proposal again. I even asked her to send me her photo. “I spoke to my pastor about you, and he wants to see what you look like,” I explained. She didn’t hesitate. She sent me the picture immediately.

When I received the photo, I asked her, “Does this mean you are going to give me a chance to be your man?”

That was when she said, “I have been talking to another man. He was there before you came. And from the way things are going between us, it will be difficult for me to accept your proposal.”

“So what should I do now?” I asked her.

“That’s for you to decide,” she responded.

It didn’t look like I had any chance of winning her heart, so I decided to withdraw from her. I was disappointed, but I understood that it would be better for me to move on with my life and find someone else than spend months pining for her. 

Since I started detaching from her, she has been pushing for me to stay in her life. She has been the one doing everything I used to do when I was actively fighting for her love. She calls me regularly. She is always texting me, trying to know what I am up to. 

She even invited me to her place recently. I went. When I got there, I met her brother. He asked me, “Are you her boyfriend?” I didn’t know what to say to him, so I just smiled. He then said, “My sister has never brought a man home before.”

I don’t know what I am supposed to do with that information. Also, we’ve been talking more since my visit. I am not even exaggerating when I say that she has been acting like a girlfriend. 

A part of me wants to believe that she likes me and that she would eventually come to accept me. However, I can’t also shake off what she told me about the other man she has been talking to. What do you advise me to do? Should I wait for her to choose whom she wants, or I should still move on as planned?

—Maxi

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