I’m a Music teacher who teaches Music in two international schools in Ghana. A lady who used to work as an administrator in one of the schools is called Joy. When I first met her, I didn’t even think of becoming friends with her. She is older than me so I never saw myself getting close to her. And naturally, I don’t make friends easily. My life is all about God, music, my church, and my jobs. I am currently twenty-six years old but I own two cars. I didn’t pay a pesewa for these cars. God blessed me with my first car when I turned twenty-three. I received my second car when I turned twenty-six.

I really love the things of God because I’m a music director in my church. I like to think about people more than myself. I think that’s why God gave me those cars for free, so I could help people with them. A lot of women throw themselves at me because of the favour of God upon my life. I know they could complicate my ministry so I mostly ignore them. My goal was to focus on God, and when the time is right, I will settle down. And my life was going according to plan. I kept to myself and fulfilled my obligations. It was the same behaviour I exhibited at school too. I only interacted with the other teachers when it was necessary. When it was time for my salary, I would go to Joy’s office,  collect my money, and walk away.

That was the routine until one day she asked me, “What’s the name of your perfume?” I told her the name and went my way. A few weeks later I smelled the same perfume on her. That was the day I had a conversation with her. That conversation led to several other conversations and eventually bloomed into an amazing friendship. We didn’t exchange numbers or keep in touch outside work. We were just worked friends.

The school organized its first graduation ceremony and Joy was the backbone of the ceremony. She made sure everything was alright. Even though the school was big, she managed it like it was her home. Seeing her doing all that made me like her more. After the graduation event, we all went home on vacation. When school reopened, Joy was nowhere to be found. There was another administrator in her office and it did not please me. I wanted her number but I didn’t have any friends in the school so I didn’t know whom to ask. Eventually, I got desperate so I asked a few of the male teachers, but they all didn’t have her number. I became disheartened and turned to God in prayer. I asked Him to bring Joy my way again.

One Saturday afternoon, I was on my way to Melcom to buy a few things when I run into her. I almost cried out of relief. My heart melted as if I had met my long-lost love. My mind felt at peace all of a sudden. She was also happy to see me so we exchanged numbers and got chatting. Our chats got personal, and eventually progressed to phone calls. Before I realized what was happening, I started falling in love with her. When I told her about my feelings she ignored me. I understood her initial reaction because she has a son and had gone through a divorce. I knew her story and I felt anger on her behalf. I asked myself, “Why would someone do this to a sweet innocent woman like Joy?”

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I purposed in my heart to treat Joy with kindness and prove to her that not all men are the same. So every evening we spoke, we spoke about everything. She liked the fact that I am direct. She often said, “I like how you don’t beat around the bush. You say things that need to be said just as they need to be said. It’s a good thing.” That compliment made me feel I had made some progress in my quest to win her heart, but no. No matter how hard I tried, she gave me the impression that “Hey nothing is going to happen between us so stop pushing it.” At some point, her rejection sank into my heart. It was difficult to accept that I could never have her but I did my best to kill my feelings for her.

Just when I accepted that we could only be friends, Joy came to tell me, “I have started having feelings for you.” I didn’t know what to do. I asked myself, “Why would she make me quench my love for her, only to come back and tell me she has feelings for me? What if I awaken my love for her and she pulls away again? She may even be lying about her feelings.” So I told her, “I prefer us being friends than risking it on something more.” Ever since I said that, things have changed between us.

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I travelled recently to the United States to pursue my Master’s degree, but God being so good my first year is going to be online, so I’m back in Ghana. Joy has stopped texting me. She won’t call me either. The lack of communication between us is taking a toll on me. It has flooded my mind with her thoughts. From the moment I rise from bed to the moment I go to bed, she is all I think of. I have met several women but I have no interest in them. Joy is the only woman my heart is set on. But her constant rejection in the past has made me weary of attempting anything with her. I have never felt this kind of turmoil over any woman until her.

Joy, if you read this, know that you came into my life to complicate my love life. You know my biggest problem is proposing to a woman yet you decided to shut me down when I did. I am writing this to help ease your thoughts in my mind. I will move, trust me, I will. In the meantime, thank you for coming into my life.

—Joel

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