I’m Convinced The Only Husband God Gave Me Was The Man Who Died That Day

I met him on Facebook in 2013. I was posting a lot and each time I posted he came to comment on it. Along the line, a very good friend of mine died and I posted about it on Facebook. A few hours later, he was in my inbox consoling me. His words were intense and felt genuine, so I went to check his profile for the first time. It said he was living in London. I checked his photos. There was one particular lady he had so many photos with in different places so I concluded that the lady was his girlfriend. The following day he came back into my inbox asking me how I was feeling. We had a lengthy chat and he gave me his number in case I needed to reach him offline.

We built some sort of friendship that made us check on each other. One day he called me on video and started taking me around his room; “It’s a small room I live in. Here’s the kitchen. There’s no woman in my life so I barely use it.” I rolled my eyes. “Here’s my bedroom, you see how small the bed is? If I get a partner, I think I will need a big bed.” Everything he said that day was geared towards his relationship life. I didn’t want him to feel I’d been stalking his profile so I didn’t bring the other lady’s issue in until days later when he proposed to me.

I told him, “How about the lady who’s in every photo of yours?” He laughed at me. “So you’ve been checking me out, right?” He asked. I answered, “I had to. We have become friends so I should have some level of interest in you.” He told me the lady was a colleague and it was through him the lady found a boyfriend and that she no longer appears in his photos because the lady was busy building a relationship with her boyfriend. I was tempted to believe him but I asked for evidence. He told me, “Don’t worry. I will see him soon and I will give the phone to her so you talk to her.” I responded, “It has to be a video call so I know she’s the one I’m talking to because I know her face.”

After that, it was one excuse after the other. It was either the lady had travelled with her boyfriend or he was far from the town the lady is in. But he kept assuring me, “Don’t worry, even if it takes thousand years, I will let you talk to her.” I trusted him enough to say yes to his proposal. I loved the way he cared about me and the way issues of my life concerned him. He would send me money when I’d not requested for it. Anytime a friend was coming to Ghana, he would parcel something for me. I was living with my mom then but I was planning to find my own accommodation. I didn’t tell him I needed his help but when he heard that I was looking for a new place he told me, “Let me know how much it will cost and I will send you the money.” 

I was shocked. “I thought they said London borgers are stingy so why is this one different?” When I got a new place he paid for it. Two years rent. I had no choice but to start broadcasting his goodness to me. I told my parents about him and even told them we were going to get married very soon, that’s why he got me a place. I had not met him physically before but he showed me his house. I met his senior brother and sister. And later met his mom. They were all nice to me. His mom called me “In-law” and his sister called me “Akuma.” They were not being fake. They said it with the truth shining in their eyes.

Somewhere in 2014, he told me he was coming to Ghana very soon and I was overly excited. Somehow, I was going to meet my prince charming in person but things started changing quickly. He stopped calling me and he stopped answering my text. We could go a week without talking. I was worried. It was so unlike him to behave that way towards me. Anytime I got him on the phone and I asked why, he would tell me, “There’s nothing wrong. Let’s talk later.” He’ll then drop the line. I was so worried that things could change drastically just when he was coming to Ghana.

I discussed it with a friend. She told me it wasn’t normal. She said, “Someone somewhere is trying to dim your shining star. You don’t have to sit and stare while this happens to you. Take action before this chance slips through your fingers.” I asked what I should do and she said she would take me to her pastor. “He’s very powerful. If there’s anything spiritual about it, he would reveal it to you and give you directions to turn things around.”     

We met the pastor one Sunday afternoon after church. He asked me to see him alone the next day and I went. He asked me, “Do you know when he will come to Ghana?” I answered, “Yes. Next week.” He asked again, “Are you sure he will allow you to see him? Because what I’m going to show you will work only if you will meet him in person.” I answered, “I’m very sure I’m going to meet him in person.” He gave me a cream I should use. He gave me a powder he said I should pray my wishes on before I used it on my face. He gave me a bottle of water. He said, “This is where the thing gets interesting. When you’re going to see him, after applying the cream and the powder, wash your vagina with this water.  Do this for one week and everything will turn out in your favour. The devil doesn’t like it when good things are coming the way of the children of God.”

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He came to Ghana and didn’t call me. I followed the direction and went to see him. He was shocked when he saw me. He looked at me intently. He asked me, “Is that you?” I answered, “Who else could it be? You didn’t tell me you were in but I care so much about you so I came to see you.” He apologized to me and told me he would tell me everything that had been happening to him once he settles. I asked him not to worry and expressed happiness for seeing him for the first time. He held my hand and walked me in. We talked and ate together. He asked about my plans, whether I was going to spend the night with him or I was going to go back. I said, “I will instead go back and make space for you to settle. He insisted I stayed and I did.

That night we had sex. He was overly excited about everything. This was a guy who didn’t want to talk to me or even answer my text. He was all over me that night as if I was some piece of cake in his eyes. The next day when I was leaving, he told me he was going to see me a few days later. “I have some things to give to some people. Once that is over, I will come to your place so you introduce me to your parents.” 

It was a Thursday. On Friday he called and told me about his plans. On Saturday he said he was travelling to Accra to deliver some items to a friend’s mother. Sunday morning, I called his phone and it was off. I tried all day and it didn’t go through. In the evening, I reached out to his sister and she told me my boyfriend had died. “I screamed, “How!” She was crying so the details were not coming out. I gathered that he had an accident on his way to Accra and by the time they got to know about it, he was already dead. I was inconsolable. How could such a thing happen to someone like that? Is that also part of the plans of those who wanted to dim the shine of my stars? 

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I ran to the pastor and explained everything to him. He said, “Your enemies have won but have faith, your light would come up again. The next time it comes, it would be like a beacon in the valley. It cannot be covered.” That was eight years ago and for eight years I haven’t had a boyfriend. No man had even come close to telling me he loves me and wanted to have a relationship with me. I’m surrounded by beautiful men who like my friends but want to have nothing to do with me. I’m thirty-five years going to thirty-six. I’m a beautiful woman. I ask people to guess my age and they always get it wrong. They say I look twenty-four or twenty-five. I haven’t lost anything so why can’t I find a man again?

I’ve stopped seeing the pastor because he gives me hope and still nothing happens. 

I’ve prayed over the years. I’ve fasted and climbed the Atwea mountain to seek the face of God and seek answers to my problems. I’ve met powerful men of God, most of them are friends and they pray for me but nothing has changed over the years. Everything looks right but nothing is right. My best days are going down the drain while I look on. I’m now convinced that the only man God gave me was the one who had an accident and died that day. I’ve been sad and crying most often. Because of that, I’m unable to get him off my head and heart. I don’t know what the future holds but if things continue going the way it is going, then I may remain single until I die.