We started very small as lovers, Karen and I. We left the university together, but she wasn’t working. I was the one working. I was retained where I did my national service so I could earn an income to support her while she looked for a job. For a whole two years, she didn’t have a job. I was the one sponsoring her. Even the wig on her head, I was paying for it.

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We went to church like our lives depended on it because we had something to pray for. It was in church that we met Ephraim, a man who promised to help her find a job. He was a Christian brother and was dedicated to helping her find a job in the sector he worked in. We prayed over it and acted in faith until one day he called to deliver the good news.

She went for the interview as a matter of formality. A day after the interview, she was offered the job. You can imagine our happiness and our hearts of gratitude. We went to Ephraim. We thanked him and even asked if there was something we had to do. He said he did it for God, so we should give thanks to God.

From that day, he became our pillar, someone we ran to when our relationship had issues. He was married with kids and had experience in love matters. We respected him a lot because of his insight.

A few months after my girlfriend started working there, Ephraim called to ask me to pray. He said, “What I’m seeing about your girlfriend is not good, so just pray to God for insight.”

I asked her if something was going on at work that I needed to know. She shook her head and said everything was fine. I would call her after work and she would tell me someone was giving her a lift home. Every day there was another name she mentioned until, a few months later, there was only one name that kept coming up: Frank.

Not only did Frank give her a lift, but she mentioned Frank as if he was the only one in her office. When I drew her attention to it, she called me jealous. I told her, “Stop going home with the guy. I’m a man and I know how these things work.”

Again, she called me insecure. She didn’t stop until one day I was with her at her place when we heard the sound of a car. She looked outside and Frank was standing there. She screamed, “What’s this guy doing here? Why didn’t he call before?”

I looked up and saw this tall guy coming out of a black Mercedes-Benz. He was coming directly to the door, which meant he had been in the house before. Meanwhile, she had always told me that Frank dropped her off where it was easier for her to get a car home.

She quickly dashed out and met him outside. I don’t know what she told him, but Frank went back with her into the car and a few minutes later, he drove away while she came back into the room.

I asked her to explain what just happened. She said, “He was in tears earlier, so he passed by.” I asked, “How did he get to know your house when you told me he drops you off where it’s easy to get a car?”

She asked me, “Are you going to interrogate me because of someone who came here without telling me? How will I know? He was here, so why didn’t you ask him?”

She was using anger to cover up the issue, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I knew what I wanted to hear and stuck to my guns. She didn’t explain anything but had the gut to tell me I was jealous because Frank had a car and I didn’t. I got so angry I told her my mind and even asked her to date Frank and leave me alone.

I reported the issue to Ephraim and he called us. He took us through a series of advice and reminded my girlfriend to think about the days she had no job and I was the one supporting her. He told her to remember it was through me she had the job, so she shouldn’t allow the same job to break us. We prayed and left, but nothing changed.

I went to her place one evening and she wasn’t home. Later, it was Frank who brought her home. She told me Frank picked her up to go and buy something from town. I asked, “Couldn’t you have picked a taxi or even called me to go with you if you needed company that much?”

She asked me, “I should call you? Do you have a car?”

I knew immediately that it was all about the car. I asked her to enjoy the car if that’s all she wanted. I left in anger and was expecting she would call and say sorry. She never did. Days later, I called and she said, “I thought you would never call again.”

I hung up and never called again. I saw her in church and we walked past each other as if we were strangers. Ephraim told me, “This is just the beginning. God prunes out unwanted weeds from the tree right from the beginning so the tree can grow well. You’re going to blossom. Don’t mind her.”

Within one year, I bought my first car. What changed? My job and life took a drastic turn for the better. I started traveling around African countries for work because my new role required it. I won’t give myself the credit for doing anything because it wasn’t my strength.

One day after church, here came Karen. I was with some of my friends when she said she wanted to talk to me alone. She asked, “So if nothing at all, don’t you remember where we both started? Yes, we allowed the devil to take a seat in our relationship, but you know I wasn’t that bad.”

I didn’t ask her any question, but she started telling me stories about her relationship with Frank. “Nothing happened between us. It hurt me so bad that you didn’t believe me. That’s why I acted the way I did.”

I asked, “So why now? Why are you telling me all this after almost two years?” She answered, “Because God keeps whispering in my ears that the two of us are meant to be together and we shouldn’t let each other go.”

Her straightforwardness was admirable, but it made me laugh. “God told you that? Go and tell that your God that I say he’s a liar.”

She never stopped calling. She never stopped texting, using the past to get me to accept her. Ephraim asked me to block her and never make the mistake of bringing her back into my life. He said, “Weeds always grow back no matter how often you cut them off. It doesn’t make them good for your growth. Think about it.”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I blocked her, but she met me in church and, this time with tears, apologized and asked me to forgive her mistakes. I told her, “I have. It’s just that we can’t continue this relationship.”

We still see each other in church. I have a girlfriend now. She’s also in the same church. Karen watches us as if we’ve hired her to watch over us. I don’t hate her now. I pray she gets what will one day make her happy like I am today.

—George 

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