I met my husband when I was in senior high school. I was very young and new to relationships, but his generosity was what drew me to him. At the time, he was a pupil teacher while continuing his own studies at UCC. He was so generous, the kind of man who would give you his last pesewa.

I completed SHS with flying colours and got admission to university. Immediately I entered my first year, my husband suggested we get married. I wasn’t ready. I had my whole life ahead of me. I was not going to stop and marry him because of his insecurities. He insisted, worried I would meet someone else and change my mind after graduation. We went back and forth. We argued so much, it felt like the angels in heaven were listening to our story to judge. Well, we did finally get married. So I became a married woman while still a student. It was hard, but I managed.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

In my third year, I got pregnant. That is when the real test began. That is when the suffering started. Sometimes there was no food at home for us to eat. There was no chop money, no money for utilities, not even for the hospital. The worst of it all was I had no explanation for why it was happening. I was just there. As a pregnant woman, would you believe I could go hungry the whole day? There were times I had to visit people. I became an unwanted guest at the houses of relatives and friends, just so they would serve me food. Of course they were not going to let a pregnant woman just watch them cook. I had to be tactical about it, and I am even proud I found a way.

What I did not know was this. My husband had incomplete grades on some of his papers at UCC. He did not make the effort to resit them. When they upgraded all those who had completed together, he thought he had escaped the resit. But later on, they found out. His rank was removed. His salary was blocked as a pupil teacher. He was even asked to refund all the salaries he had received from the time of that promotion.

I gave birth to our son in 2019 and finally completed university in 2020. At that point, I was bent on leaving the marriage. We were supposed to be one, doing life together, but he hid that kind of truth from me. He made me suffer so much during my first pregnancy. I could not satisfy the cravings. The journey was so heavy for me all through the nine months. But one thing held me on. My son. And the fact that my husband had taken loans to support my education. Because of that, I felt I could not leave him alone in deep water. After all, we vowed for better or for worse.

Now that his rank has been removed, you can imagine a pupil teacher struggling under loans. I made up my mind to work hard.  I studied BSc Accounting Education. Any company I apply to refers me to teaching. It is not easy to get work with GES either. Because of this, I started teaching in a private school. My aim was to save money to do a professional course so I could get a job with a company more easily.

Then, I lost my dad, and it drained all my savings. To make matters worse, I became pregnant again. I had planned not to, but the contraceptive failed me. I was laid off from the private school because the proprietor said a pregnant woman cannot work effectively.

I delivered my baby successfully on the 9th of November. Though my baby is small, I am ready to start work because there is no food for a lazy man

Did my husband go to write the papers? He did, after a long time. But he still couldn’t pass, even after several attempts. You know how an incomplete is. The more you register for it, the more the credit hours increase. So he gave up eventually.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Today, I am the only one in the house with a university certificate, yet I am still finding my footing professionally. My husband is unable to return to school for now, given where we are as a family. He is not a bad man. He contributes what he can, and we continue to adjust and make do with what is available to us.

Still, I choose hope. I believe this season will pass. I believe my efforts will count for something. And I believe that, in time, things will take a better shape.

—Divina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>