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While doing my national service, I met a girl that I fell in love with—Janet. How to approach her became a problem because I was just a national service guy and she already had a job where I was doing my national service. The man in me didn’t want to give up on her so I found a way to become her friend. I was doing printing and photocopies for her. When she was going to lunch one day, I ran to her and jovially asked if I could join her. She said, “If you join, then you’ll pay.” I said, “I’m ready to pay if only it gets me to sit next to you.” She laughed and I was in love all over again.

So, it became a routine. We went for lunch together each afternoon. Soon we were leaving the office together each time we closed. On the phone one evening, I shot my shot and she dodged the bullet. She said, “It’s too soon to be in love with you. You’re not even working. How could you make a relationship work?” I said my best lines. I gave the best explanations. I even used the lines I used to win my ex but this girl said no to me. “Let’s be friends, it’s good that way.”

We stayed friends until few months to the end of my service, I went back to her again. I said, “Service would soon be over. I will get a job immediately after service. When I start working, I will be able to make this relationship work beyond your expectation. She said, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Get a job. Come and show me your appointment letter. We can take it from there.” I said, “What if I come and you’re taken?” She said, “That’s why you have to hurry up. If you really want a relationship with me, let that be a motivation for you to get a job.”

“She just doesn’t like me because I’m jobless,” I told myself. “A jobless guy can’t take care of a woman. That means she would be that kind of woman who demands a lot from her guy.” I decided to just walk away and not mind her again. On my last day at the office, she asked me, “When are you leaving town?” I said, “I haven’t thought about it but I won’t spend more than a week in town.” She said, “Let me see you this weekend.” I said, “No problem at all but who’s going to see who? Should I come around or you will come around?” She said, “You’ll have to come around. It’s safer that way.”

That Saturday evening, I was at her house. She told me about all the men in the office who had proposed to her and she had said no to them. She said, “Two of your friends, Eric and Peter have already proposed to me. I said No. The accountant wanted me to be his second wife. The Director had traveled with me thrice. If I didn’t take care, I would have been his side meat by now. It’s office romance that doesn’t excite me. You’re done with your national service. You’re no longer at the office so if you’re really serious about this, then I can give you a chance.”

I watched her talk with a ray of light in her eyes as she smiled. I told myself, “I will make you proud babe, just watch me.” She asked again, “Are you sure about your feelings for me? I said, “I’m as sure as sure can be. I will start looking for a job tomorrow and I will find a job very soon so I make things right.”

Because of her, I stayed around for a while. I met her every evening after work. The feeling was always different when she was around. It was very hard for me to leave the town because of her. She said, “From here to your place isn’t that far. Just an hour’s journey? I can come around every weekend if you want me to.”

When I left, I started looking for a job immediately. I went to the offices myself to tender my application. Wherever I went, they said no to me. I didn’t give up though it kept getting harder. A year later, I was still in the house, still searching and still getting no. If there was anything I lacked, Janet provided. It got to a time she was sending me a monthly allowance. She said, “It’s tough out there but just hold on, you’ll be fine.” I went to her place on some weekends and because I was still living with my mom, she couldn’t come around to visit.

The struggle comes to an end at some point so one day, the call I was expecting came through. He said, “You’ve been offered the job, congratulations.” You can imagine the joy. You can imagine the celebration. You can imagine the loudness of the sigh of relief.

We had dated for four years when I decided to introduce her to my mother. She found her beautiful and all until she heard the tribe she belongs to. She suddenly went cold. She didn’t talk again until Janet left. Immediately she left, my mom came at me, “Why would you waste your time on a woman from this tribe? They are not faithful, they are greedy, you can build them mansions and they’ll still cheat on you. Do you want to raise other people’s children as your own? You don’t ask about a woman’s background before you go in for her?”

I explained to her but she wouldn’t listen. I said, “She had been faithful all this while. When I was jobless she provided. If she didn’t cheat when I was jobless, why would she cheat now that I have a job and can be with her?” She asked, “How would you know if she cheated?” I’ve been alive for so long before you were born but you people don’t want to listen to elderly wisdom.”

The next person I went to was my dad. My dad and my mom had been divorced since I was in SHS. I was always living in between them. They both played their expected roles in my life but separately. When I told my dad about it he said, “I’m not surprised but your mom should know that times have changed. Don’t worry, I will talk to her.”

He did his best but my mom still didn’t agree. We waited for a year, thinking she would change her mind and come around. She didn’t change her mind. She kept complaining; “She would cheat on you.” She would bear children with other men and bring them home as your own.” “They are not truthful with money, all of them.” Janet was worried. She said, “Let me talk to her woman to woman, maybe she would understand.” I knew my mom better. She could be very dangerous with words when angry so I told Janet, “That’s not advisable. She’s my mom, I can handle her.”

READ ALSO: Why I ran Away From My Own Wife…

One day I told my dad, “We want to get married soon. We can’t keep waiting for mom. We don’t know when she would change her mind.” He said, “If you’re willing and able, go ahead. I would be there for you.”

We are getting married next weekend. My mom doesn’t talk to me. She calls me ungrateful and said she would never recognize any of my kids as her grandchildren. My dad said, “Go ahead and marry. One day she’ll understand and come around. Even if she doesn’t, it’s your life we are talking about here. She had already lived hers so you can also live yours.”

My dad’s support had been immense and I’m grateful. My other siblings support me secretly because they don’t want to upset my mother. Plans are far advanced for us to get married. We are going forward with it while praying that at some point, God will touch her heart to see the light. We are happy. I’m especially happy that through it all, Janet still doesn’t hate her.

–Daniel

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