My wife and I went through rough patches that robbed us of our happiness. We fought more often than we laughed and loved. We spent sleepless nights arguing over something as small as why she didn’t turn off the light when she came to sleep.
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We couldn’t hold on, so we separated. We went our separate ways for four months until I decided to be the bigger person and call for reconciliation. We attended family counseling and also brought our pastor in to strengthen our spiritual resolve.
Just when I thought all was well and she was coming home with our child, she confessed, “While apart, I slept with someone. I’m bringing this up today so it doesn’t haunt me tomorrow.”
I screamed, “What did you say?”
She responded, “I thought we were never coming together again.”
“Are you still dating him?”
“We didn’t date. It just happened.”
I cried, though not in front of her. I asked for time to regroup and heal from the trauma of knowing someone slept with my wife, and she agreed.
I’m hurt, and I don’t know how this marriage is going to work if we get back together. I wish she had never told me because I cheated too. With someone I was seeing for a while but I haven’t told her because I don’t want to hurt her. I respect her enough to keep that from her.
Why did she tell me? Is it because she doesn’t want the marriage anymore and wants me to just walk away? The cheating hurt like hell. She has our daughter. Why didn’t she consider that before being with someone else? And what gave her the courage to tell me about it? I tell myself I can forgive, but it feels like a lie.
I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room
Do you think telling her that I also cheated will help me heal and forgive? I’m not a saint, but the pain of knowing what she did is too much to bear. I want the marriage. We can make it work if we try, but I know too much, and that is making me doubt everything. Maybe she doesn’t want the marriage. If she did, she would have kept it a secret. Or she is lying? I’m confused.
—Yoofi
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She told you because she wants the marriage hence she wants to start the marriage with a clean slate not because she doesn’t want the marriage. You see people don’t like being told the truth. If she lied to you and you found out you would have called her a liar etc. All you need to do is to be honest with her. She telling you her deed means she is giving you grace to do so if you also cheated . Divorce is not an easy thing. It’s costly so please let the truth prevail .
You are your problem oooo. She told you she cheated so it won’t be on her conscience and making her feel guilt everyday. She came clean for you, so you guys can start on a clean slate. But can you be a good person enough to do the same??? You that also sinned wants to throw stones……..??? Please Sir, she is a good woman. Forget about her confession and move forward with your marriage with her, knowing fully well that you are worse. You are even seeing the person, that means you are dating. But she never dated. You should have also not sinned because of your daughter too.
She’s a good woman confess also to her and learn to forgive each other
Because you’re toxic. You asked why she cheated without considering your daughter? What about you?
What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
She is a good woman who respects you and cherish the marriage. Confessing is to ensure there’ll be nothing that will tear you apart again once you get back.
Be grateful for such a woman and learn to forgive yourself