Married life has been difficult for some time now. My wife gets angry easily, and I understand her. It’s not her fault, and I won’t also say it’s totally my fault. Life happened, and I lost a great job. What I have currently isn’t great. The salary is small, and I can go for two months without being paid. When they finally decide to pay, they give us half and hope that the other half comes before we eventually die.

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My wife knows this, but when she needs something and I’m not able to provide, or I ask her to be patient, she throws a fit and acts like the world is coming to an end. She picks fights when we only need to talk. She talks at the top of her voice when a whisper would have sufficed. She won’t talk to me for hours and coils within herself.

As I said, it’s not her fault. Life used to be better than this, and I’m also the one who brought us to this point. If I hadn’t done what I did to lose that job, this family would have been better off.

All the times my wife has been angry, she never said anything that hurt my heart as much as what she said to me a few days ago. After the usual fight over money, she walked past me and said, “My greatest mistake in life is marrying a man like you. A curse is better than this if this is the kind of life we are going to live for the rest of our lives.”

I’m not a bad person, ooo. I’m not a bad husband like that. Even as a father, I go beyond myself, but because I don’t support it with money, my efforts are usually not seen. What she said hurt me so much that I don’t want to do anything except walk out of the door and not come back again. For the first time in our marriage, she isn’t talking to me, and I’m not making any effort to get her to talk to me.

I sleep in the hall, where I can think without her snores. I wake up, dress up, and go to work, which, regardless of everything, still feels more like home than the place I call home. I thought time would fade the pain, but it still hurts, and all I think about is leaving the marriage. Maybe there’s a place better for her than with me, so she should go and find that place. Or maybe when I’m gone, the curse will be lifted so she can have a better life.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

It’s 9 p.m., and I’m still in the office writing this. The security man just walked in to ask if I’m not going home today. I wish I could tell him there’s no home for me. I’ll go today, but one day, I might not go again. Me? Worse than a curse? SMH.

—Ebo

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