When my stepsister returns from school, she usually stays with me. Aba has grown into a very curvy young woman, and I just wanted to keep an eye on her. My stepfather has grown weak over the years, so he gave his approval easily. The arrangement was simple. She would sleep in the living room on a mattress I bought specifically for her.

The only thing we have in common is our mothers. My mother left my father and married hers. I should hate him for breaking my home, but they were never happy, so I don’t. In truth, he has been an anchor in my life. I don’t hate my step-siblings either. If anything, they are my closest friends. Especially Aba.

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We were living comfortably until she started sneaking into my room at dawn. I would wake up to her touching me. I brushed her hands off and turned to the other side of the bed. It happens, I told myself. You sleep, and your hand rests on something without knowing. The next day, after pushing her hands away again, she walked in on me while I was bathing. She didn’t flinch. She just stood there, looked, and left.

That evening, I packed my bags and lied about a work conference. I needed space to think, to figure out how to approach it. Even the bible asks you to flee from sexual immorality, so I did. But even away, I was not free. She sent me videos—wild, inappropriate videos of herself in my bed. Voice notes too.

When I returned, I was ready to tell her to pack her things and leave. Before I could speak, she laughed it off. Said it was all a joke. I let it go. Because truth is, That is how we have always been. Open. Playful. Able to talk about anything, even things that cross lines. There is a belief that it fosters trust, that she can come to me whenever she has an issue.

Later that evening, she complained the fan in the hall was too noisy and asked to sleep in my room. That was how she ended up in my bed. I woke up to find her stark naked beside me. We struggled for a little while, right there on the bed, until everything changed. I am dying with remorse and guilt. Aba is not. She puts up a pretty argument: we aren’t biological siblings, we are step-siblings, and there is nothing abominable about it. To think she put me in this situation when I am the older one is haunting. I never gave her the wrong impression. I keep asking myself where she learned this.

My stepfather will kill me if he ever finds out what I have done with his daughter. He will not ask questions. He will not listen. He will reach for a machete first. And I have a girlfriend too.

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I have had my eyes on her since she was a girl, so I gave her space as she grew. Now it feels like I have destroyed my life. Haven’t I?

How do I handle a girl who feels no shame and is ready to ruin our family?

—Bernard

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