I was raised by my mother. She has been a single mother for as long as I can remember. She is a good woman but she is not someone I look up to in terms of role models. I am saying this because, while I spent some time after high school earning my own money, my mother has never worked any job successfully. Her means of making money has always been by depending on other people. Every money she has spent was money that people gave her.

When we are making plans for money, she would say things like, “This person promised me some money. When the money comes we will use it.” Can you imagine living like this? Spending your whole life surviving on people’s benevolence? That’s one thing I have never liked about the way she raised me.

Sometimes she would make me call her married male friends and give me stories to tell them in order to extort money from them. There are also times when she would make me call the single men in her life who are interested in her. I would tell them the stories she gave me and they would send her money. That’s how she made money to see me through school.

After I completed high school, I wanted to further my education to the tertiary level but there was no money. So I found a job so I could save. Whatever I earned wasn’t enough to take care of my expenses let alone help me save. However, I liked the fact that I was working and making my own money. I was so proud of myself.

I remember telling my mum, “I want to forget about school and learn a trade instead.” I thought it was the easier thing to do but my mum did not agree. She rather encouraged me to apply for school. “We will cross that bridge when we get there,” she said, “I am hoping by then I would have gotten a job.”

I am currently twenty-two, and a student at a university in Koforidua. When I was going to school, my mother had to tell people stories to get money for my expenses. She took some loans from people as well. And ever since I got to school, she has only sent me GHC30 when I asked her for money. The rest of the time, I have been the one sending her money. Yes, that’s what happens. She would complain bitterly about how she is under pressure to repay the loans she took for my hostel fees and school fees. I would then feel bad and send her money.

She is constantly telling me she is looking for a job even though she does not put in any effort to get the job. Sometimes when she’s desperately in need of money she would ask me to ask my friends or the person I’m dating for money on her behalf.

When I advised her to get a loan and start a business, she would counsel me against the complications that come out of taking loans. Yet this same woman takes loans to manage the expenses of our home. I am convinced that her boyfriend is fed up with her constant demand for money. Why else would he be reluctant to settle down with her, after they’ve dated for twelve years?

Now she’s almost forty-two with no job prospects because she has no work experience. She is now on my neck to help her write an application letter to the hiring manager of a company I once worked for. She is not bringing any experience to the table so they keep turning us down. Because of this, she has intensified her begging skills.

READ ALSO: I Followed Him On A Trip And Returned With Nightmares

She would sometimes call me and give me names of people that I should call and ask them for money for school. One time a man told me, “When has your mother ever had money?” I was so hurt by this even though he wasn’t lying. When they send the money to me, she would ask me to send it to her. I feel so embarrassed that I am still extorting money from people for her at this age.

Currently, I am surviving in school because of one of my lecturers. He is my boyfriend. He gives me money for upkeep and he has promised to continue taking care of me as long as I remain loyal to him. The fact that I am currently depending on a man for survival makes me feel I am following in my mother’s footsteps. This is not what I wanted but my situation has brought me here.

He Woke Me Up At 2am And Asked Me To Go To My Mother’s House

My mother keeps asking me how I get money to survive. I don’t want to tell her I have a man who provides for me. She would just try to turn him into a money bag. So I tell her, “I am getting by by God’s grace.” Now, I will completely be at the mercy of this man until I leave school, that is if my mother doesn’t find other means of earning money.

I wish I could ask this man I am dating to give me some money for a business but I don’t know how to go about it. I am also looking for ways I can convince my mother to start living responsibly. University education is expensive. We can’t do four whole years based on people’s promises and loans. What can I do to change my situation? I was raised by a woman who scammed her friends and relatives for money, but I want to do better. I want to be better. Any advice for me?

—Godsgift

If you have a compelling story to share with us, you can email it to us at [email protected] or send us a voice note on WhatsApp number 0593290182.

#SB