My husband and I have been married for just a year now, and God blessed us with a beautiful baby. I met him two years ago, and we tied the knot last year. About six months into our marriage, he reconnected with an old female friend who lives in the USA. I didn’t feel comfortable about their closeness and told him, but he assured me it was nothing. He always said they were just friends.

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Still, I could feel something was not right. I had no proof, but my instincts told me there was more. Before I went to the hospital for my CS, I cried bitterly about it. My husband looked me in the eye and promised he had spoken to her, set boundaries, and would never hurt me. I believed him. He was the only man I had ever known, so you can imagine the depth of my love and trust.

After delivery, I moved to my parents’ house for care and support. That gave him the chance to do whatever he had planned. He continued lying to me while pretending everything was fine. Because we usually share everything, he would even tell me things about this lady, of course only the parts he wanted me to know.

One day, I finally checked his phone, something I had never done in my life. That was when the truth hit me. His “friend” didn’t even know he was married. She thought he was her future husband. She had flown into the country for two weeks, and they spent that time together while I was away.

When I confronted him, he claimed he only did it because he saw an opportunity for us to leave the country through her. That explanation broke me even more. Not only did he betray me, but they also used our home, our bed, the very place I felt safe. He told me it was all in a hotel, but that was another lie.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

Now he says he is sorry, but I cannot help feeling that his apology is only because he got caught. I told him I forgive him, but deep down, I know I haven’t. The pain lingers, and the more I think about it, the angrier I become. He says he is working on fixing things, but in his attempt to cover his tracks, I feel like I have been reduced to just a “baby mama” because he doesn’t want her to know the truth about being married.

I loved this man deeply, but now I feel hatred growing where love used to be. I want to forgive him and let go, but I honestly don’t know how.

—Judith

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