I buy everything in this house but whenever I touch anything, my wife nags about it. If I take slices of bread, she asks why I’m taking two slices. Don’t I know we are managing food in this house? If I put on the air conditioner, I’m wasting electricity. If I watch TV, that’s all I know to do as a man.

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Her mother lives with us and we have two children, four and six years old. You should see the way my wife serves food to these kids. Plenty rice, small meat or the bony part of the meat. If it’s fish, it’s too small these kids finished the fish before their food gets finished. When I ask questions, she tells me I’m the reason the kids are becoming spoilt brats. “You raise a kid as a slave so he grows up to become a royal,” she would tell me.

We don’t have the world but we have a piece of it that should make us content. She’s a senior nurse and I work in the private sector with a business on the side. I don’t complain when I give housekeeping money and I don’t nag when I buy groceries for the house but my wife will say something even if it’s about a pinch of salt.

You should see her mother serving herself. Sometimes I compare our food to her mother’s food and I ask myself, “Who works to put food on the table in this house?”

Her mother takes everything without a word from my wife. When we are eating together, she rations our food but when she’s eating alone it’s different. I feel petty thinking about these things but that’s what she has done to me.

So, I give my kids extra meat these days. I give them extra milk. Everything their mom serves them, I later go in and add extra. It’s looking like me against her. She nags, I still do it. Her mom sees me serving myself in the kitchen and she will be like, “Oh you don’t have to do it. Where’s your wife that you’re serving yourself?”

I’ll allow her to serve me and she will serve my food like I’m a second hand citizen in my own house. That woman koraa her days in my house are numbered. She annoys me more than anyone in this world. She’ll behave as if she’s for you but once you turn your back, she’ll go and support her daughter.

It’s not healthy the way we are living. The kids are watching. We are becoming bitter and bitter because of this small issue. My wife thinks I’m setting the kids up to hate her, which is not the case. Yet, she won’t change her ways and do what’s right. She says that’s how she was brought up so she can’t do anything different for the kids. I saw shege in life when I was a child but that didn’t define me.

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I think her mother is the problem. She’s a bad influence and has to go as soon as possible. That’s what keeps me awake at night—how to sack my in-law. I don’t mind if she gets angry but I’d rather it goes smoothly. What can work easily in this situation?

—Bra Tony

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