My husband got another woman pregnant when we hadn’t even thought of having a child. Because he came to confess to me and asked me to forgive him, I forgave him. It was very hard. Our marriage was less than a year old. We had planned to enjoy our marriage for two years before thinking about bringing in a child.

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I forgave him because I didn’t want the embarrassment that came with it. I was even the one who advised him not to tell anyone about it. It was our little secret, and I encouraged him to take care of the child and the mother.

Two years later, I was pregnant when I discovered another woman was pregnant for my husband. I nearly miscarried. I had his phone in my hand when my heart started beating out of rhythm. When I asked him, he confessed. He broke down and cried with me while begging me not to make it an issue.

He said the devil was involved, so I should pray for him. He swore it would never happen again. I was scared for my health and the health of the baby I was carrying, so I decided to forgive and save myself the trouble. That was the hardest decision I’d ever taken in my life, but then again, he was my husband, so I had to forgive him.

My baby was only four months old when I discovered my husband had again impregnated the first woman he got pregnant. It was the woman who called to tell me their second child was on the way. I don’t know why she did that, but I felt so disrespected and broken. Before my husband came home, I had packed out of the house.

Again, he begged me, telling me I shouldn’t let his enemies get to him. I told him, “You made my enemies laugh at me, but you don’t want yours to get you? I’m not coming back again.”

He came to my father’s house every day, pleading and swearing that it would never happen again. He cried, he lay on the floor for me, but I had seen all that before, so I didn’t give in. A few days ago, he came with his family to meet mine and beg. Just when my heart was ready to accept his apology, his father said, “To avoid future problems, why don’t you allow him to bring the other woman home so you can live in peace?”

My dad got up and left. My mom followed. My mom said, “Whatever you do now is in your own hands.” I saw my husband arguing with his father about what he had said. His father claimed he was only advising us. Our marriage is not traditional; it’s an ordinance marriage, so how could he suggest that?

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I told them, “I will find a lawyer and dissolve what we have rather than allow another woman in.”

I’m in court seeking a divorce. My husband is still begging me to change my mind, but I’ve seen the height and depth of shame, and I don’t think I was born to experience this kind of humiliation. I will get what I deserve from this marriage and walk out in peace.

—Anowaa 

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