I want to understand why infidelity in relationships and marriages has become so normal. Why do people treat loyalty like it no longer has value? I once made a vow: never to exceed five body counts before marriage. I was so sure of myself but now I’m with my fifth woman and I’m not married. Her name is Akosua.

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Maa Abena was my first partner. We were so in love. That’s why it broke my heart when I found out that her lifestyle wasn’t funded by her family. She had big men sponsoring her. They paid her rent, her tertiary school fees, and provided for all her personal needs.

She begged me to stay. She offered me money. “How much do they pay you at work? I will pay you three times that amount if you stay with me,” she bargained.

I told her I’d rather be alone than share the woman I love with other men. Then I ended things.

Thes, my second partner, was the woman distance tore away from me. Four years later, we reconnected. By then, she was in another relationship. For me, I was recovering from my relationship with the woman I dated after her. Nine months post-breakup. Although she was with someone else, she came around often. She spent weekends with me, and even stayed two nights before her wedding. She didn’t set boundaries, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch another man’s woman. Nothing happened between us until we drifted apart.

Now to Akua, the woman I dated after I lost Thes to long distance. She was everything I prayed for. The kind of woman I wanted to build a future with. But life hit us hard. Circumstances beyond our control pulled us apart.

Adwoa, the fourth one, told me she had been single for two years before we met.

Only for me to find out she had a man in Ashaiman, another in Takoradi, and one at Lapaz. I didn’t have proof but I even suspected she was involved with her boss.

When I confronted her, she begged me to give her a second chance. I didn’t want to lose yet another woman, so I stayed. She continued her lifestyle. The only change I saw was that she replaced the old ones with four new men. When I finally left her, I met Akosua. She is the woman I am currently dating.

We had history. We dated briefly years ago. I was the one who ended things because I suspected her of cheating. She came back later, in tears, promising she had changed. “I have learned my lessons,” she swore.

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As soon as I took her back I discovered she was involved with two married men, a mechanic, a shop attendant, and me.

Now, the same woman who cheated doesn’t want me to go. The last time I went to her place to pick up my shirts, she locked the door and said she wouldn’t let me leave. Meanwhile, she still has four other men in her life.

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So my question is, are there still women who believe that love should be between one man and one woman? Where are the faithful ones?

Where are those who still see loyalty as sacred?

I’ve seen men cheat on their wives, and wives cheat on their husbands. But I didn’t grow up in such a home. My mother never lay with another man, and my father never betrayed her trust. It appears infidelity was frowned upon strongly in their time, as compared to now. At this rate, are there still people who are faithful in relationships?

—Dennis

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