My friend recently became friends with a man in the town where we live. I do not know the details of how their friendship started, but if you ask me, things moved too fast.

Just a few weeks into their friendship, my friend was already cooking for him, dishing out the food, and taking it to his place.

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They would also text for hours. I did not have a problem with that until I realised that the man did not like phone calls. He preferred texting, and that was another red flag we could not ignore. But wait until you hear this.

This man has not even proposed to my friend, yet he regularly sends her explicit messages describing what he wants to do to her when he gets her into bed. For instance, he would text her, “I want to suck your breasts,” or tell her that he wanted to be intimate with her.

I was shocked. “Ethel, how do you respond to these texts? Do you tell him to back off?” I asked her. My friend would just laugh off my concerns.

One day, he invited himself to her house. She agreed to let him come over, but when he arrived, he forced himself on her. She said he was all over her, touching and caressing her, and would not take no for an answer. He did not seem willing to stop, and they ended up having sex on the sofa they were sitting on.

This man has not even proposed to her, and I have been warning Ethel to stay away from him. Her response is always, “Afua, you are overthinking this thing too much.”

But am I really overthinking this? A man who cannot take no for an answer? A man who is always taking from you without giving anything in return?

My instincts tell me that this man only wants to keep her on the side and have fun with her. This man is a serious scam. To me, it looks like he wants a fling, but my friend is not trying to see things from my point of view. She is just going around trying to find love in this crazy world.

This man is in the car dealership business, and guess what? He is always broke. How can a car dealer who sells and rents out cars not give you even one cedi? You cook for him and send him food. Is he really that broke?

Sometimes, he will even call to ask whether she has cooked, what she has prepared, and whether there are any leftovers she can send him.

If she has already prepared a meal, he will ask her to send some over. If she has not cooked, he will tell her what he is craving and ask her to prepare it for him. He will not send her money or contribute anything. All he does is receive and stretch out his hands for more. There is no giving from his side.

This has been going on for months. Last week, the man visited her again, and once more, he wanted to be intimate with her. She managed to hold him off and finally had the direct conversation I had been begging her to have with him.

She asked him what his true intentions were. His answer was that he loved her and wanted to marry her. But right after professing his love, he immediately tried to take off her clothes to get what he had come for. She literally had to lie and say she was on her period just to get him to back off completely.

Can you believe that the very next day, he texted her, saying that whatever they had going on should be put on hold? His exact words were, “I want to focus on my business and get it right.” And we all know what that line means.

He did not try to contact her again until a few days ago, when he called to ask whether she had missed him. Then he said, “The last time, what we did is still in my head. I can’t forget it. I want more of it.”

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At this point, I have said everything I can say to my friend, but she does not seem to understand what I am trying to tell her. Is whatever she is feeling really blinding her judgment?

So, family, please advise her for me. Tell her the hard truth about this whole situation because I honestly do not know what else to say to her.

— Afua

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