I’m a very prayerful person because I know what prayer has done for me. I’ve prayed my way out of sickness. I’ve prayed my way out of death. I’ve prayed my way out of unemployment, but the only thing I couldn’t pray my way out of was my relationship problems with Vanessa.

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The fights became every day. She cheated; I forgave. She stole my tithe I’d saved for Sunday and told me she couldn’t starve while I give to the Lord, who has everything. And this same girl would see me walking with one of my church ladies and come cause drama.

I’m a youth leader, but our women dealt with me cautiously because of her. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I took it as a sign from God and the affirmation of the scripture that says, “Be not unequally yoked,” and walked away. It turned into a fight and drama, but I eventually let her go.

I picked a lady from church, Fanny. The relationship has lasted a year, and still, no drama. Or let me say, this drama isn’t physical but spiritual.

Anytime we get intimate, my spiritual light grows dim. Anything I touch fails, and the things I pray about fall mid-flight. Sometimes after intimacy, I lose the desire to pray or proclaim God. I sleep through the dawn when I should be up praying. I eat through fasting and ignore prayer requests on my table.

It wasn’t like that with Vanessa. She was like my lucky charm. We’d do everything together, and I would still have my spiritual light shining abroad over everything.

She was there when I prayed my way out of death. She was there when life beat me to a pulp because of unemployment, but I prayed out of it. I never once lost the zeal to pray when I was with her, but with Fanny, everything falls down immediately after I touch her. Even a kiss can make me lose the faintest battle of my life.

Now, I’m not saying it’s a good thing, considering my position in church, but she’s the one I’m going to marry. We’re only doing it too early, which I know is a sin, but you know, this journey comes with weaknesses too.

I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room

I’m planning to stop everything I’m doing with her. I’m praying my way out of the problem, and I know soon I’ll see manifestations. But the question is, what if I marry her in the future and she’s still the one who dims my spiritual light? Coming disasters first cast a shadow. What if…

That’s my problem now.

—George

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