One afternoon, while at the pool with Freda, a guy came to sit next to us at the bar close to the pool. He said hi, and we both smiled. Freda had a call that lasted forever, so I was the only one talking to this guy. He said he was Clement and had seen us from afar and thought he should approach and ask our names.

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He was nice and warm, so I engaged him for all the minutes he was with us. He asked for my number, and I gave it to him. When he left, Freda asked, “What is he looking for?” “Looking for love, I guess.”

We burst out laughing, but a few weeks later, Clement and I had talked, had met, and were very good friends. On a date one evening, he proposed. I said yes. Freda was skeptical. She said, “You met a guy at the pool a few weeks ago, and today he’s your serious boyfriend? How well do you know him? Don’t you think he goes around talking to girls the way he approached us?”

I told her, “Time is the ultimate judge. Let’s see how it goes.”

It was slow at first. Both of us didn’t know what to do or where we were going with the relationship. The only person he knew from my side was Freda. When the three of us were together, he tried very hard to accommodate Freda. He said he didn’t want her to feel left out.

A year into our relationship, when we still didn’t know where we were going, he confessed, “That day when I approached, I was coming for Freda. She was the one who caught my attention, but it was you who talked to me.”

Honestly, I was pained and jealous at the same time. A lot of things made sense—the fact that he always tried to engage Freda more than me when we were together. I asked him, “So, does she still command your attention?” He answered, “Nooo, not the least. I got you, and I haven’t regretted one bit.”

That didn’t quench the flame in me for being an afterthought. The second choice. The one he settled for when he couldn’t get the attention of the one he wanted. The girl in me wanted to walk out.

But he became very intentional with me. He took me places, said he loved me often, and took me to meet his parents. When we returned, he said, “Marry me.” I said, “You’ll marry your mistake?” He screamed, “Come off it. That was when I didn’t know you.”

Freda was our maid of honor on our wedding day. I didn’t think twice about having her by my side that day. Regardless of how bad it looked, she was the one who baited Clement.

By the time I was pregnant with our third child, Freda also got married. I was heavily pregnant; I would have been her maid of honor too.

I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room

I didn’t think it was necessary for her to know the story. Maybe I was still jealous that she was chosen first before me, but one day, in a conversation, I let it out, and she said, “I was in a full bikini. You were not. If he had me, it would have ended very soon because what drew his attention wasn’t my character but my body.”

She’s happy where she is, and I’m in a happy place too. We both ended up where we belong, and that’s the most important thing.

—Naana

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