My relationships with men have been a rollercoaster. They mostly will love me at first until I let down my guard, and they’ll take everything away from me and run without telling me what made them run. I told myself I would never help any man I dated until maybe we got married. I met Eric after being disappointed by many men. I’d even had a boyfriend called Eric who stole from me and disappeared.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

So when this Eric mentioned his name first, I told him the story of that Eric who stole from me. He laughed and said, “That Eric is not a true Eric. We don’t do that. We are more passionate and kind than that.”

We started as friends. We were friends for over two years because he knew so much about the kind of business I was in and decided to help me grow the business. I trusted him so much I let him in on many things concerning my business. It got to a point where we were inseparable. He could even spend the night with me working online on the business. He would fall asleep on the couch, and I would throw a cloth on him.

Actually, I fell in love with him even before he told me he had come to love me. I was cautious even though I’d known him for that long and he was a good guy. I didn’t go all out for him like I did with the men I dated first. I took my time to study him and fell in love with him properly. I used to tell him, “Of all the men I’ve dated, you’re the one who really had a tough time with me. Please forgive me.”

We became lovers and unofficial business partners. He had his own job he was doing. He was in the IT field and was working for an organization that didn’t pay him well enough.

A year as lovers came to pass peacefully and lovingly. We celebrated it as kids in love, but right after that, Eric hit a financial situation. At first, it was his father’s surgery. Then it was his mother’s drugs. Later, he asked for a loan—GHC5,000—which I gladly gave him. He started paying until I told him not to bother after he had paid GHC1,000.

He never stopped collecting loans from me, so it got to a point where I was concerned. He showed me his payslip and the loan he had taken from the office, which was being deducted. Apart from that, he had also taken a loan from apps that grant instant loans, including MTN Kwikloan. I decided to support him anyway because he was my boyfriend and also very helpful.

He told me a story about some money he needed, but the story didn’t add up, so I was triggered to be cautious. He took a loan to buy a drug for his dad. He came again asking for money to buy the same drug, so I asked how many times he was going to buy that same drug, and he said, “Oh, this is the first time I’m buying this for my dad.”

They say it’s hard to keep track of lies you’ve told, and that’s exactly what happened. I started looking around him for evidence of what he did with money. At first, I suspected betting. Then I felt he was owing something bigger than he told me, or he was in some addiction I wasn’t aware of.

I started going through his laptop whenever he was busy with something else. One day, I saw an email from a lady called Julia. The email came with an attachment, so I checked it. It was details of fees the lady was supposed to pay. She was schooling in Norway and had sent her fees to Eric to pay. I was like, “Who is this one too?”

I searched her name in his inbox, and every mail she had sent popped up. Most of them were either accommodation fees or something that had to do with her school. I marked that down as exhibit one. One day, he asked for money, and I said, “No, it’s becoming too much. I’m suspecting you’re doing betting. Open your phone and let me see the betting apps on your phone.”

He laughed and started typing his password slowly, trying to prove me wrong. I watched and committed the movement of his fingers to memory quickly. When he was happy that he’d proven me wrong, I was also very happy that I’d gotten his password. A few days later, I went into his phone.

Julia is his girlfriend. Not just a girlfriend—the lady was in school, but they were talking about marriage. The lady had sent photos of wedding gowns and suits and had asked him to give her money to purchase them. The most hurtful thing was that Julia knew about me. He told Julia I was his business partner and that he owned shares in my business.

I won’t even go into the kind of naughty videos and photos they exchanged. Even some of the videos he sent to her were taken in my bedroom. My heart was burning, but I couldn’t cry. Eii! What did I do to deserve this? I didn’t know how to address it without crying in front of him. A few days later, he asked for money, and I said, “Julia is looking for money again?”

He looked at me like he was looking at a ghost. I told him everything I’d read from his laptop and from his phone, and this guy knelt down and begged me, all the while telling me it’s not the way I think. “Tell me what the truth is, then. Who is Julia?”

He could never explain until I asked him to leave and never come back into my life again. To be honest, even when I sacked him, I was waiting for him to come back with a clear apology so we could have a proper conversation. I was hurting, but I was willing to forgive him if only he could prove that Julia was no longer in the picture. He never came back again, and it took me weeks to heal.

Just late last year, I heard Julia married a Ghanaian guy she met in Norway. My money went into that girl’s education, and I was hurt all over again that she got what was better for her. A few weeks after hearing that news from his own friends, Eric sent me a message asking, “Can we talk? I think I owe you an apology.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

The voice note I sent him, and the thunder and curses that followed my voice, I knew he wouldn’t dare say a word again, and truly, he didn’t. I haven’t stopped cursing him. May any woman who comes into his life disappoint him the way he disappointed me. Not only that, may his good intentions be met with stone-cold wickedness just as he did to me. We all ought to reap what we once sowed.

—Harriet

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******