I’m 24, and he’s 42. We’ve been together for a little over two years.

I dated him because I saw no red flags glaring in my face. He communicated well, he dressed well, was very straight to the point and also open-minded. He was a matured man who had lived life, and that knowledge was something I trusted I could learn from and lead with in my own life. He noticed things I couldn’t see even if I were standing at the top of a tall tree. Beyond that, we worked well together. He butters the bread, I sugar his koko.

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The plan was to get married right after I finished my college degree so we could start our life together quickly. He has two children, each with a different mother, and I was ready to embrace that. Love requires grace, and I was willing to take that even in situations that might not always be easy.

Then there’s Daniel, my best friend. Daniel and I have known each other since we were crawling. We went to the same schools, got into trouble together, and even when life and distance came between us, our friendship remained strong.

I could never just walk away from him, no matter what.But my boyfriend, Mr. Kennedy, and Daniel have never seen eye to eye. I didn’t like it. I didn’t even envisage that this was ever going to be my life, that my boyfriend and my best friend were going to hate each other. For instance, if my boyfriend was around, Daniel wouldn’t set foot in the same building. They wouldn’t even shake hands. They wouldn’t share a single cordial word. No “How are you, man?” No guys’ language talks. Nothing. They avoided each other like a plague.

I tried so many times to get them to like each other, but nothing ever worked.

The thing is, I was very much aware of the reason why Mr. Kennedy didn’t like him. Daniel is gay, unapologetically and openly gay. He is the gayest person I know. Mr. Kennedy’s dislike felt rooted in that. I assumed it was just the normal thinking of such a grown man being disgusted by the fact that another man had feelings for a man. You know how these old people and their logic are.

One day, we were taking a drive around the neighbourhood when we saw Daniel. All I did was wind the window down and say hi to my best friend. Mr. Kennedy stopped the car and ordered me out of his car. We didn’t speak for an entire week after that. That was how bad their relationship was.

I stopped trying and learned to accept the tension as something I couldn’t fix.

But recently, I discovered the truth, and it has shattered me.

Everything I witnessed between them, the distance, the hostility, the avoidance, was a performance. A facade. I don’t know who came up with the plan to fool me, but whoever did was smart enough to know I’d have caught on if they slipped even once. Still, that doesn’t take away the fact that I was played, lured into a lie, and betrayed in a way that will forever change how I see people.

Remember the week we were not talking because I wound the window down and said hi to my best friend Daniel? That week, I found out that the two of them had actually been visiting each other and had gone as far as sleeping with each other.

They are gay partners. Mr. Kennedy and Daniel are gay partners who have been at it for who knows how long.

You cannot imagine the turmoil going through me. I know my best friend is gay, but my boyfriend is gay too? Was he doing all this for the fun of it? Why were they pretending in front of me? How did it start? When did it all begin?

I was here, fighting my boyfriend for Daniel’s sake, or fighting Daniel for my boyfriend’s sake, not knowing it was all a film. So, what was I all this while? It is very confusing to me. Painful, even. I really don’t know what to do with those two.

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

It’s heartbreaking, not just because of the betrayal, but because it has made me question everyone around me. I shouldn’t let one spoiled nut ruin the whole bag, but right now, it’s hard not to feel like nothing was real.

We are not together anymore, but it is still hard to understand how this was happening in my life for so long without me seeing it. I was so stuck on getting them to like each other, or is it that my plan actually worked  and maybe they took things further.

How did it all play out?

— Sheina
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